A Surprisingly Sane Blog

An article I wrote for our Swing Club’s newsletter:

Why I Compete

Sometimes I wonder if I’m completely crazy. I sweat bullets just thinking about competing, but nevertheless, I find myself on the dance floor in front of several national judges more times a year than I’d like to admit.

My students and other dancers are always surprised when I tell them this.  And so the question always comes up: “Then why do you compete?”. Good question- it is one to which I have no simple answer.

I confess that I am completely self-conscious when I realize someone is watching me dance. I also admit that I am not generally a “good” competitor. I’m a bit shy and reserved on the competitive dance floor, and the national advanced level is full of countless dancers that I am flat out afraid of competing against. And I would be a complete liar if I said I have never cried over not making finals, or having terrible dances that have landed my partner and I at the bottom of the list.

The fact that my own husband has incredibly good luck when pulling a Jack and Jill partner and loves competing (and is extremely good at it) makes my predicament even more difficult. It can be tough to watch your own partner take first place in the same competition that you completely bombed!

So then- why on earth do I continue to do it?

Because I have learned that the more I face the things I struggle with the most, the more satisfied I feel with my personal growth. The more I have to be proud of. Yes, competing scares me. Yes, I get frustrated with it. But, I don’t want to just watch from the sidelines- I want to push myself to be the best dancer I can be. Competing forces me to do that. If I pull a difficult partner, I have to be an even better follower to make the dance work. If I’m so nervous that I’m shaking, I have to concentrate even more on the person that I am dancing with to give them the best dance possible. If my partner and I have a connection break or I lose my footing, I have to be creative on the spot to make it look like it was on purpose.

But… then there are those times when I pull a Jack and Jill partner who says, “Wow- that was the best dance I’ve had all weekend!”. Or a judge comes up to me afterwards to tell me they enjoyed watching me dance. Or my husband and I take first place in an Advanced Strictly Swing. Or I pull a great partner in the Jack and Jill and I come home with a trophy and a cash prize.

Then there is the ultimate compliment: “I really love watching you dance- it’s just so inspiring.” To think that someone is inspired by my sloppy, nervous dance makes me remember why I do it. It is because somewhere along the way, I have watched those dancers who have lit a light of excitement in me and made me wonder how incredible it would feel to dance even half as well as them.

If I keep competing, it will only make me a better dancer. And if nothing else, I can at least be proud of that accomplishment.