The Unspeakable. Part 2.
So physical therapy for prolapse includes the worst of my nightmares. However, I am thrilled to announce that it wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared. It was, in fact, incredibly… therapeutic, and I left feeling better than I’ve felt in eons.
The therapist… we’ll call her Dina… came out to greet my nervous ass after I finished filling out paperwork in the waiting room. She was warm, friendly, and extremely easy to talk to. Very knowledgeable without being a know-it-all. And super tall, like a volleyball player. I liked her instantly, and I felt entirely compelled to blurt out every last detail of the vaginal/butthole/bladder/sexual problems I’ve been struggling with for the last 5 months. Without shame.
After gracing her with my greatest embarrassment and concerns regarding my hoo-haw, it was time for physical probing and biofeedback.
And for some reason, after apologizing for my less-than-perfect body, I completely lost all vaginal modesty as she did the physical exam. She’d seen a million of ‘em (most pretty messed up, I was sure), and I knew there was no way that my problems were the worst that she’d seen. She cared, she wanted to help me, and she assured me after the physical exam that she is positive she can help me a lot.
*Phew*.
Here I was half-expecting her to take one look and scream, “Heaven almighty! What the fuck happened to your vagina!!!”. Since, you know, that’s what I thought when I pulled out a mirror to see what on earth was going on down there.
Apparently, seeing it on someone else is not nearly as shocking as seeing it on yourself, though. Dina was really cool about everything, and she was wonderful about answering every question I had.
And so out came tumbling my most humiliating question yet: “So… I know you’ve probably been asked this before… but I’m really embarrassed about it… um… does my vagina seem, like, uh, really loose and big to you?”
(Why on earth I feel it necessary to share this with the internet I have no idea, but for some reason I’m sitting here writing this anyway. Just deal with it.)
Okay, so, I was expecting her to give me a sad nod and explain that my vadge was, without a doubt, completely destroyed… and that it was, in fact, big enough to park a double-wide in.
Apparently not! Woo hoo! She was really great about answering my question without any hesitation. “Not at all,” she told me. She explained that while I do have issues with the prolapse and scar tissue from tearing during my first childbirth, my vadge is most definitely not big and/or loose as I have been fearing. I cannot begin to tell you what a relief this was to hear. So I’m not completely broken afterall.
After the physical exam, which was kind of painful due to all kinds of strange muscle tenseness I apparently have going on down there, she hooked me up to a biofeedback system that could track my Kegel ability on a computer program. It was really cool! Who knew that hooking your crotch up to a biofeedback machine and tightening muscles could be kind of fun. It was was, though, and the feedback was really interesting. I am very good at tightening my PC muscles, but I kind of suck at actually relaxing them.
So it looks like I’m not a complete freak afterall, and Dina told me that this is going to help a ton. I’ve been working on lower abdominal tightening exercises and different types of Kegels for the last few days, and I have to work on the posture in my lower back while sitting and standing. I’m also supposed to put a stool under my feet when I use the toilet to help get everything into the right position while I’m peeing and pooping. And abdominal massage. And a daily old-people’s fiber concoction to keep my poop soft. And I’m supposed to use a vibrator- yes, you saw that right- to help break the scar tissue down. That gave me a moment of embarrassment, but I got over it.
James said he’d (gladly) help with that since I’m not particularly comfortable doing it myself. I’m sure he was probably thinking… YES! I’d LOVE to stick a vibrator up in you!! Woo hoo!!! Thank you Physical Therapist! For real. A husband’s dream- LOL!
Tomorrow I have another appointment to start getting the regular therapy done, whatever that’s going to include. Exercises for sure, and also she said something about soft tissue massage. The thought of that makes e a little squeamish because having sore spots up there rubbed doesn’t sound very delightful. Ugh. However, that’s supposed to help the muscles relax normally so that we can work on rebuilding them correctly.
So maybe there is hope that my uterus, bladder, and rectum will be stopped in their painful attempts to escape the evil clutches of my vagina afterall.
And now I have an actual medical purpose to pull out that flower vibrator I got for free at a Pure Romance party I hosted a couple years ago.
Joy. *eye roll*.
Tags: Physical Therapy, Vagina
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
[...] pretty good shape. You can read about what physical therapy involving one’s vagina is like here. Then finally, I learned that my vagina was actually nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s [...]
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
“James said he’d (gladly) help with that since I’m not particularly comfortable doing it myself. I’m sure he was probably thinking… YES! I’d LOVE to stick a vibrator up in you!! Woo hoo!!! Thank you Physical Therapist! For real. A husband’s dream- LOL!”
That made me laugh out loud … which made Roree laugh too.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Hehe. I’m sitting here reading this with Chance’s head next to me on the couch. I’m silently shaking the entire couch trying not to wake him up. I love you Tamra. (And I don’t say that lightly FYI.)
September 14th, 2009 at 10:52 am
[...] and my opinion of it, you can find more nitty-gritty details than you ever wanted to know here, here, here, here, here.. aw hell, just check ‘em all out [...]