An Annoying Situation
Some people shouldn’t have kids. Like, really.
I mean, I’m admittedly a bit… er… mentally unstable, but underneath it all, I’m a great mom. And you’d be hard pressed to find someone who has spent time with me and my girls who wouldn’t agree with that.
But some people, even if they’re kind of cute with other people’s kids, really SHOULD NOT procreate.
I’m not going to mention names, but there is indeed one of these such individuals in my life. This wouldn’t be an issue at all except for the fact that she’s been trying desperately to get pregnant for well over a year. After finally working with a fertility specialist, it has been determined that her chances of getting pregnant the old-fashioned way are nothing short of miraculous.
I’m convinced, even though this really truly isn’t my business (except for the fact that I have to hear about it every time we hear from her), that this is most likely God’s way of trying to say… Um, honey, I love you, but you’re not really cut out for motherhood.
I can say that because, hey, some days I kind of wish God would have told me that instead of creating me as a human race reproduction machine in the worst way possible. I mean, the two times I’ve had unprotected sex in my life I’ve gotten pregnant. Yikes. And my fertile time seriously lasts like almost a week out of each cycle. It’s downright unnatural what a baby machine I am.
It’s kind of sad that the baby-making power was wasted on someone who suffers from postpartum depression so severely that having more kids is pretty much out of the question.
Am I just plain evil? I know there are way worse situations for a child to be born into, but this is the one case I can think of where I am utterly sure that she is just not fit to be a mother. She is professionally successful, has a nice husband, and isn’t really a bad person… but she’s one of those people who are just so selfish, busy-body, and obnoxious that you know any kids she could possibly produce would just hate her.
Plus, she’s kind of an old fart stuck in a 30-something-year-old body. And you can tell by talking to her that sex is probably this robotic, “Uh, uh, uh… hang on a second while I stick a pillow under my ass so that the semen has a better chance at reaching its seed…”. Ew. This is wayyyyy worse than imagining your parents doing the nasty.
Did I mention that this 30-something-year-old woman is also one of those incredibly immature people who never got beyond high school social life? Yeah, it’s sad. She’s really got a lot working against her.
Okay, so I know that I’ve been bitching and complaining and talking about how annoying she is (and all the while I’m sure you’re probably thinking… okay crazy, you’re a great one to talk), but I really do have a point to all of this.
I’m sitting her wondering- why is it we always want what we can’t have naturally? Why is it we can’t just accept things that our body hands to us? Instead, we try to find a way around what God may have intended for us.
I know I struggle with this. Everything I can’t have that I want becomes nothing short of an obsession for me.
I wish with all my heart that I could accept myself the way that I am- albeit flawed in so many ways both physically and emotionally- and just find a way to move on.
Why is it I just can’t accept some things?
