A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cut it.

Someone tell me why both my girls are whining during naptime!  It’s naptime!  Sleep!  SLEEP WHILE YOU CAN!  YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!

**Banging head against wall…***

So yeah, I’m really damn tired.  I’d love to say it’s because I have to get up and feed April twice a night or something so that I have a real excuse, but it’s not.  She sleeps through the night, and so does her big sister.

You wanna know why I’m so stinking tired?  Take your pick:

1. I woke up two hours after falling asleep because I was having a dream that someone was holding me down again and I couldn’t breathe.
2. And then when I finally woke up from that nightmare, I had to sprint to the potty before my bladder exploded all over my peacefully trying-ninja-style-Kung-Fu-fighting-while-sleeping husband.
3. Thus jump-starting my heartrate and making my head spin a little while I tried to fall back to sleep.
4. Which lasted a couple restless hours until April started crying because she was cold…
5. So I jumped up again to hush her so she wouldn’t wake the house, re-swaddled her, plugged her up with a binkie…
6. And had to pee AGAIN.
7. Then James started thrashing around because he’s secretly trying to kill me in his sleep.
8. And James just kept doing this annoying thing where he scratches his balls, then changes positions…
9. And scratches his balls again… and flops over to his other side, barely missing my vulnerable peeking eyeball with his elbow.
10. Ball scratch, wiggle…

Finally, “James, will you just get up?!” came my bitchy snarl, “You’re keeping me awake!”

(Really, at this point I was thinking: stop scratching your damn balls or you’re going to find them missing tomorrow morning!)

Snort.. “Oh, sorry, yeah.”

So I hear him stumble around blindly, rustle around in his dresser, and the bump of the bathroom door since he lacks the ability to open and close doors quietly.

Finally, I fell back into a light sleep, only to be awoken numerous times by my boobs, which were swollen up with milk to a disgusting degree of painfulness.

April woke up not much later, ridiculously adorable.  I wanted to cry I was so tired, but I ended up relieving my exploding milk studs, taking a shower, and drinking my coffee before running out the door for my therapy appointment with Dee.

You wanna know what Dee and I talked about?

Well, how I never have time to take care of my own needs, for one.

Ya think?

I have learned that when one becomes defensive about something they are doing or supporting, it is almost always because part of them feels a little bad about it.

I know this from personal experience.

Now while I will not automatically tell you what I think about a choice you’ve made (unless I’m married to you), be prepared to hear my opinion (which you very well may not agree with) if you open it up for discussion.

And if you’re going to get pissed off or offended by my response, especially when I tell you (and truly mean) that I am not passing judgment…

…then I’m going to have to say that you most likely are being a defensive bitch because deep down, you are probably not doing it for the right reasons.  And you know it.

You can have the last word now.  I said my piece.