Your Daily Dose of Sarcasm by Yours Truly

  1. Thanks, Grandpa, for pulling out in front of me in that damn BOAT you’re driving as if my car carrying the precious cargo called Oops #1 and Oops #2 doesn’t exist.  And by the way, the 28 MPH you’re driving is WAY TOO FAST!  Slow down before you give yourself a cardiac arrest!
  2. Please turn the bass up a little more on your adorable homie-G-mobile as you park in front of my neighbor’s house.  It makes for really great white noise while I’m attempting to take a nap.  Remind me to throw rocks at your windows next time you drive by.
  3. YES!  WRITE IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!! AND FORGET THE SPELLLCHECK!  AND YOOS AS MANY EXCLUMASIOUN POINTS AS YOU POSSABLY CANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU WOOD’INT WANNA LOOK TO EDUMACATED!
  4. Keep spamming my Myspace bulletin board with anti-Obama messages.  You know, it’s all President Obama’s fault that we’re in this economical crisis anyway.  We wouldn’t want to give the impression that we think that a damn democrat might possibly do something good for our country.  You know, since LIBERALS ARE EVIL.
  5. I like when you wake me up with your ball-scratching.  It’s really cute.  Can I help?  I’ll take care of that problem for you and make sure you never run into it again.
  6. Let me tell you HOW EXCITED I am that you sent an email with a cheesy background asking when the best time to visit would be.  I was hoping that when you moved halfway across the country that you just might disappear.  Little did I know that I’d have to see more of you than I did when you lived one state away.  How is that possible?

Can you tell that I heard from one of my favorite in-laws today?

**Biggest fake smile I can possibly muster.**

Current Mood:Angry emoticon Angry

This entry was posted on Friday, February 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm and is filed under Lists, Sarcasm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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