TAKE THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AWAY FROM ME!
The toilet’s gonna quiver under the weight of my ass and shatter when I sit on it before long.
My poor porcelain throne.
Damn those Girl Scouts.
Current Mood:
Alarmed
I get *really* irritated when people snub their noses at the parenting choices that others choose.
I knew these women who had kids about the same time that I had Julie, and their reactions to my choices seriously pissed me off.
There were very into the attachment parenting style, and it worked well for them. We’re talking the co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding for a year, cloth-diapering, non-vaccinating, natural-birthing, infant potty-training, baby-wearing, homeschooling, nanny-nanny-boo-boo-stick-your-head-in-doo-doo kind of moms.
You know, the hardcore moms. The kind who would be proud to be able to fling their breast over their shoulder and pop their nipple into the mouth of their piggy-back-riding five-year-old while simultaneously nursing their toddler and newborn on the other boob.
It’s no secret that I am most certainly not that mom. The looks they’d exchange when they thought I couldn’t see them in response to something I’d say or do made me wonder how people who were making such liberal choices could be so close-minded.
I’m the mom who birthed her kids sans drugs because I felt that was best for them, but also because I was terrified of needles. The mom who has never co-slept because that is what is best for me. Yes, I cloth diaper… but it’s not because I’m a total hippie- it’s because it works best for my kids and I like saving money. I breastfeed, but April gets a bottle of formula sometimes because I don’t want my tits to be the sole source of her food all the time.
I cuss, I drink, I took my hubby to a strip club for his birthday and indulged him in lap dances for myself. I blog about my irritation with my kids and post pictures of them on the internet. I speak my mind. I have a life outside of my kids and am not afraid to leave them with my friend over night so that James and I can finish reflooring our daughter’s room and have some time to ourselves.
But you know what? I know that my lifestyle is not for everyone.
Not every mom births her kid and looks at her new baby and wonders what that hell she just did. Other moms stay at home without going stir crazy. A lot of moms don’t care if they get stretch marks and a loose vagina from birthing a watermelon out of her grape-sized hole. And some don’t care if they haven’t showered in six days and go shopping in their sweats and slippers while they lug their baby around in a sling.
I will never be one of those moms, but I do not look down on women who choose that for themselves. Kudos to them for not being so vain that they can’t leave the house without showering and wearing a cute pair of clothes. And that they are so proud of their little creations that they can look at their stretchmarks and call them their beautiful marks of motherhood. I wish I could be that way sometimes.
But seriously? Quit looking down at me because I’m not that way. Why is it your parenting style is better than the path that I’ve chosen? You know what? My kids are happy and smart and well taken care of. I can leave them with a babysitter and they have a great time. They enjoy sitting in the stroller while I take them for a walk. They don’t mind being passed around to other people.
Quit thinking you’re better than everyone else just because you sleep with your kids and wipe their asses for them until they move out of the house.
Make the choices you are comfortable with, but realize that what works for you doesn’t work for everyone. Just like my choices work beautifully for my family. But hey, I’m the freak who has to take Prozac and go to weekly therapy to survive. Don’t think for a second that just because my kids are happy, independent, well-behaved, and I know I’m a good mom that I think my parenting style is the right choice for the masses.
Your shit smells just as bad as mine, and your kids are going to end up with complexes and grow up saying, “I’m never going to do [insert parenting choice here] to my kids like my mom did”. Whether you like it or not.
Get over yourself. You’re not perfect. And your kids aren’t going to grow up happier or smarter than everyone else just because they learned how to use the potty when they were 6 months old and they’ve never heard you utter the word “darn”.
Current Mood:
Mischievous
James and I decided on a whim to drive up to Phoenix this weekend and check out the Ikea up there.
Goal: revamp our workspace in the dance room and find a way to organize the toys.
End result: Complete and utter coolness for a really awesome price. Check this action out!
This is where I blog...
Oh, and notice the 84 colored pens in the shelf on the right hand side. They are very important.