Normalcy Surrounded By Nuts

Apparently, this kind of sums me up.

My therapist, Dee, said I am doing really well during my session with her this morning.  I told her I have to agree.

And I asked her point blank, “Do you think I’m crazy?  Because I don’t.  I feel like I’m a really level-headed, straight-forward kind of person with a good head on my shoulders.  Or is that just what all nutty people think of themselves?”

She told me I am most definitely not crazy, and that she agrees with my perception of myself.

Oh phew.

While I know the Prozac is to thank for being able to get my head under control, at least I know I’m not completely insane.

Depression doesn’t equal crazy, but I would be off my rocker if I hadn’t sought treatment for it.

However, it has become painfully clear to both her and me that I am surrounded by a number of people who really do have bees in their bonnets.

These particular individuals… and I wish I could say there was only one or two, but I’d be lying… have caused an immense amount of stress in my life because I tend to lack the ability to set boundaries that protect my own comfort level and sanity.

As a result, I am frequently bogged down with commitments that involve taking care of everyone elses’ problems and issues, and leave no time to work on my own stress level.

I have to admit I am a little irritated by my inability to say “no” when I should.  I can be such a cynical bitch at times, and yet I still have a heart that squeezes tight when I see a homeless person holding a sign begging for help.

Here ya’ go… the only cash in my wallet.  Buy yourself a pack of cigarettes.  Or crack.  I don’t care, as long as it makes you feel happy because I just want to help you.

You see?  Sometimes by being nice, you feed an unhealthy addiction that someone else is struggling with.  But if you can set boundaries that protect yourself, you end up doing them a better service.

I told Dee my struggle is how to achieve these boundary goals.  She agreed it’s not going to be easy, but that for my own well-being, it’s necessary.

It’s a tough realization.  Especially when it’s these very people who need way more help than I ever will, but they are too stubborn and proud to recognize it or accept it themselves.

Current Mood:Confused emoticon Confused

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 at 3:22 pm and is filed under Insanity, Therapy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “Normalcy Surrounded By Nuts”

  1. Mia Says:
    March 20th, 2009 at 5:31 am

    I’ve been there, with the helping people thing. When it gets to the point that the lady on the Sun Tran that you’ve never met before dishes about her problems then it’s downright scary. I’ve learned to help the people that matter to me and walk away from those who don’t. I give some advice if a co worker asks for it, but mostly just friends and family. It helps me have time to manage my own life and keeps me from having to pretend I care.

  2. Kim Says:
    March 21st, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    I can totally relate. Setting boundaries with my parents was one of the hardest thing I ever done b/c I feel responsible for keeping them happy. It is also one of the healthiest things I ever done. I’d never go back, although I still have moments of “guilt”. Good luck setting your boundaries! Take care of you and your family.