Decisions, Decisions. Dammit.
Ugh, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Now, before you jump out of your seat when you read the word “neurosurgeon”, I want to assure you that April is fine and there’s nothing medically wrong with her (except for the fact that she’s *my* offspring). So don’t panic.
But I had to take her to see a neurosurgeon today.
Although her crazy poof of hair covers it, she has moderate-to-severe positional plagiocephaly. Which means, ladies and gentlemen, my kid has a crooked head.
It’s okay if you laugh. I won’t be offended. I kind of crack up when I think of it like that. And before you get your panties in a twist over what a shitty parent I am for laughing at my baby’s unfortunate situation, I’m going to defend myself and admit it’s one of those moments where if I don’t laugh, by God I might actually cry… and, well, I’m too much of a bad-ass to surrender to tears over this. I mean, she’s healthy at least. There are much worse things that I don’t even want to consider thinking about that could be wrong.
Anyway, after checking all of April’s reflexes, studying the shape her head, and going over a checklist of developmental milestones, the neurosurgeon said she really recommends that we get her a Cranial Remolding Band.
That’s a fancy term for “helmet”.
She told me that it would only be for 3-6 months, and that the helmet would just allow the flat spot on her head room to round out as it grows. She also assured me that if I choose not to do the cranial bonding, it won’t cause any developmental or neurological problems. However, she said that in April’s case, she recommends doing it because of the severity of the plagiocephaly.
While the asymmetry hasn’t really noticeably affected her cute little face, it has misaligned her ears. She also has a flat spot on the back of one side of her head, and a rounded bump on the other side. Again, though, her hair covers all of this. So if you don’t know, you wouldn’t notice until you look a little closer. The cranial bonding would most likely correct all of this, and also keep her facial features from being impacted (although the doctor said her face most likely wouldn’t be affected anyway).
All of this was most likely a result of the torticollis she had as a young infant. A problem that has since been mostly corrected.
So this is where my dilemma is. This is basically more of a cosmetic procedure than a medical one. Chances are, our insurance won’t cover the treatment, which I believe is going to fall into the low thousands somewhere. That’s a lot of money.
But the flip side, if we don’t do something about this now, she’s going to have to go through life with a crooked little head.
Considering all the things about myself that I’ve through periods of being self-conscious about, I’m at least grateful that my clothing covers most of it. James and I have discussed if we can do something now to keep her from feeling bad about herself later, we should probably go for it.
But then, I’m stressed about spending that kind of money and sentencing my precious little baby to 3-6 months of wearing a helmet. What do I do? I’m kind of at a loss here. I don’t want to look back 10 years from now wishing I had taken care of the issue when she asks me why her head looks weird. Or why I fix her hair to look like she’s stuck her finger in an electrical outlet.
She has an evaluation to get fitted for the helmet next week.
I’m kind of holding my breath and keeping my fingers crossed that the answer is going to just come to me magically.
What would you do?
And does it seem wrong or selfish to want something cosmetic done for my baby?
Current Mood:
Confused
Tags: Plagiocephaly
March 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Adam has a small-medium flat spot on the back of his head. I asked about it at his 6 month appt, and his dr. said it would round out on its own. I’ve read different things, so I’m seeing someone else for his 8 month appt and I’ll see what they say. His is from sleeping on his back all the time, so I’ve been proping him up with a pillow and rolled up blanket and making him sleep on his side. Then I switch sides every other night. I think that’s making a difference. I’ve talked to other moms with children who had flat spots and both of them said it rounded out on its own as they started to crawl and spend less time on their backs. That being said, I think children with helmets are ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE! And it would be nice as she starts to crawl to have a little padding!
March 26th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I think you should do it. In the long run I am quiet certain she will thank you when her sunglasses don’t sit crocked on her head. I don’t remember spliting my lip open when I was 2, but I thank God that I had a doctor smart enough to stich my lip up right, he siad “It might not matter now, but it will on her prom night.” And we will all still love her just as much with her “helmet”
March 26th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I don’t know how bad this is, because i haven’t seen her in a while, but here’s my thought. You worry about wanting something cosmetic done for your baby, but remember how insecure we were in high school. We didn’t have any true deformities, but neither one of us were content with our physique. It may be cosmetic, but it may prevent her from going through some of that agony in the future.
March 26th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
i have absolutely no advice, but i wanted to let you know that i hope it works out for the best!
March 26th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I’m with Katherine-The-Great, if you can find a way to afford it, go for it. No one needs another reason to be neurotic about their body. Give her a chance to obsess over the length of her toes or whether her butt is as bubbly as Julie’s when she’s 14, instead of something that is actually medically diagnosed.
And if you can’t swing it, I recommend that you don’t ever mention it to her. She may not figure out she’s crooked until she’s 32, at which point hopefully she’ll be healthy and happy enough not to give a damn.
March 26th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Trust your gut feelings about this (as always). If a doctor is recommending it, perhaps insurance will kick in – sometimes there are ways to word things that make insurance companies respond. There is nothing wrong with wanting something done for cosmetic reasons. We live in a physical world and we are physical girls! And it’s only money… there’s plenty more where that came from. You and she are totally worth it. Whatever you decide will be just right.
March 26th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
I went through the same thing every time Tucker’s physical therapists wanted to do another round of what they called “serial casting” which meant that my two-year-old was going to be in one cast per week for 4-6 weeks. He could walk and run and do all of the things that he wanted to do but his right foot was three sizes smaller than his left and his toes were in that “piggybacked” position so they casted the foot stretched into an uncomfortable position for a week and, after suffering for a week, he would go back and be so excited to get it off only to have them put another one right back on after stretching the foot into an even more uncomfortable position. In the end, as soon as they stopped casting it his foot it always went back to exactly the way it was before, all that pain and suffering for nothing. The bottom line is that, as a mother, had I not done it I would have always wondered if it would have helped him and I would have regretted not doing it. Regret is the worst thing we can have to live with. Besides, Lord knows, as parents we will inevitably have enough to feel guilty about. I say go for it! =) At least you’ll know you did your best.
March 26th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
I think you should do it – this is not only cosmetic but could potentially cause real problems in the future (if I’m reading this right). Not saying it’s life or death, but if my child had something cosmetically wrong with her that I knew I could fix in 3-6 months that might save her years of emotional suffering later… I’d go for it. No doubt.
I realize your financial concerns, but don’t panic yet – see what your insurance has to say!
March 27th, 2009 at 6:21 am
My advice? None. My gut instinct? Go for it. Girls have enough things to worry about. Maybe the DR could give you a recommendation (sp) or something and your insurance would help pay?? Good luck.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Addy had torticollis too, and we used CaranioSacral therapy to treat her flat spot as well as even out her facial features. It was a really gentle process over a couple of months and helped us avoid the helmet. Let me know if you want to more info!
March 31st, 2009 at 3:10 pm
[...] week I posted an entry about the fact that my darling daughter has a crooked head, and that it is up to us to decide [...]