A Surprisingly Sane Blog

1. When James keeps me awake because he’s scratching his balls.
2. Morning breath.  Gross.
3. Watching people make out and have sex first thing in the morning on movies.  HELLO!  MORNING BREATH! There is nothing romantic about an odor that smells like rancid, sour shit emanating from your lover’s mouth.
4. Black Widows… ’nuff said.
5. The putrid stench of dog-diarrhea-skid-marks left on my parents’ kitchen floor when they’re out of town because my brother doesn’t want to exert the energy to clean it up.
6. Realizing I have only 1/2 cup of brown sugar left and the cookie recipe that I was going to make this morning requires a full cup.  If James wasn’t at the store right now making an emergency trip to pick some up, I just might be crying as I type this.
7. Close-minded, arrogant shit-heads who think their way is the only way.
8. Long toenails.  Cut those fuckers off before I’m forced to kick you in the foot with the hopes of sending them flying off your toes.
9. Next-day armpit hair stubble and not enough time to shower before that early-morning appointment.
10. Drivers who don’t seem to understand that the 45 mph speed limit on Houghton is not merely a freaking suggestion and decide that 30 mph is the perfect cruising speed for the next several miles.
11. The jackass tailgating me while my precious cargo is strapped into the back seat simply because they’re too stupid to understand that I can’t drive any faster than the bastard in front of me.
12. Being groped and eye-raped by my horny husband when I’m sweaty and disgusting and tired and just want to take a shower and go to bed… after I’ve already made that apparent.

Current Mood: Mischievous

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm and is filed under Bitching, Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.