A Hard Lesson

I generally try to refrain from drama in my personal life and in all other aspects.

The reason is simple.  I’ve been there, done that.  Had my ass burnt from humiliation so bad that I couldn’t sit down comfortably for years to follow.

Just as most strong-willed bitches were in a past life, once upon a time I was a much weaker person.  I was always the one who the drama came back to haunt.  Probably because I was just too nice and usually folded when it came my way.

I admittedly have made some stupid mistakes in my life.  With family, with friends.  With people I probably didn’t even know I offended at one time or another.

Experience has made a fool out of me more times than I can remember.  Caused depression, heartache, tears, and a multitude of moments where I have stared in the mirror hating my reflection.  While I could whine about the pain and humiliation, I long since gave up and realized that the problem was within myself, self-inflicted.

Acceptance is humbling.

I am far from perfect, and knowing that simple fact has saved my ass from being burnt again.  Being able to admit that I screwed up and apologizing sincerely when I have hurt someone has helped tremendously.  Understanding that there is never one way to do things was a priceless lesson.  Watching my tone when addressing someone who I don’t necessarily agree with… yeah, that’s helped a ton, too.

The mature approach is never really easy, but I get better at it with time.

Maybe that is why I had to write this.  To refrain from drama.  While it is so tempting to jump in, I have to give myself a reminder that I have already walked down that path.

It is paved with thorns.  I don’t need to heal from those wounds again.

Current Mood:Confused emoticon Confused

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 13th, 2009 at 10:20 am and is filed under Confessions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

3 Responses to “A Hard Lesson”

  1. Stephanie Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Thanks for writing this hun. I was afraid to go post an apology on the board because I have a feeling it is going to dredge up more stuff. After reading this though I realized I would be the bigger person and go apologize.

  2. Tamra Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 11:10 am

    You are so more than welcome. I’ve been in your shoes. You have my support 100%, and I’m willing to bet everyone else will have your back, too. You did what you thought was right. I should have opened my mouth sooner, but it all happened in the 24 hours that I wasn’t on the board at all. By the time I opened my computer, shit had already hit the fan. I felt so bad that I wasn’t there to help.

  3. Geez Woman, Censor Much? Says:
    April 15th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    [...] attack and stating a mere opinion.  One has cruel, hurtful intentions behind it.  I’ve been there, done that, and long ago outgrew [...]