A Surprisingly Sane Blog

I grew up in an incredibly modest family and am fairly modest myself by nature.  However, I am not offended by nudity in the least, especially after spending some time studying in Germany during college.

James and I decided long ago to teach our daughters that bodies are beautiful, amazing and nothing to be ashamed about.  We don’t want them to feel like they have to hide the fact that they are going through puberty and are curious about sex when those inevitable moments appear.  I don’t want their first glimpse of a naked man to be terrifying, or for them to feel embarrassed by what they look like under their clothes.

We decided that the best way to teach that would be by example.  Seems like a simple enough concept, right?  Well, so, how do you do that?

To be honest, we really have no clue.  We’ve just kind of decided to change and shower in front of our girls as though it’s no big deal, and we see no reason to shy away from appeasing Julie’s curiosity when she asks questions about our different parts with matter-of-fact answers.  No fluff, no embarrassment.  These are our bodies, and this is just the way it is.

But it never ceases to amaze me what kind of connections and conclusions my lovely 3-year-old makes all on her own.

Example:

“Mommy?  What are you doing to baby April?  Are you feeding her from your boob?”

I’ve tried using the appropriate term “breast”, but “boob” is the one that sticks in her mind.  Small potatoes.  There are worse things she could learn from me for sure, as I’m sure you’ve all figured out by now.

“Yes, honey.”

“When I get big I’m going to have big boobs like you!  And I’m going to feed baby April milk, too!”

I suppressed a laugh and explained that yes, when she is older and has babies of her own she can breastfeed them, too.  Not a big deal, and rather cute if you think about it.

But then there are the oh-shit-how-do-I-deal-with-this moments. And sometimes, we’ve just found that the term she decided to use on her own is just better for now.

Like, for instance, the fact that she heard the word “peanut” when she asked daddy, “What’s that?”.  I mean, it wasn’t her daddy’s fault.  He used the appropriate term.  But why correct it now?

I mean, I just KNOW we’ll be in the middle of a homily during Mass one day and she’ll say, “Daddy, do you have a peanut?” in her too-loud-of-voice-for-such-a-small-girl.  And we will be silently praying to the Almighty, “Thank You, Lord, for letting her say that instead of penis while the priest is giving his sermon.”

So far, she has yet to really ask for a specific name for her va-jay-jay.  I mean, I’ve referred to it as her “vagina” before because, well, that’s what it is.  But she seemed to decide that she didn’t like that term and has never used it.  I mean, can you blame her?  Vagina is a pretty ugly-sounding word.  Why can’t it have a pretty-sounding name?  I mean, the word “clitoris” sounds fairly pleasant.  Almost like a flower or something.

Instead, she told me the other day after using the toilet, “Mommy, I’m wiping  my bottom.”

“Good job, Julie.”

“Can you help me clean my back bottom now?”

*crickets chirp*

Did I teach her the wrong term?  No.  I’ve always called it what it is.  Oh well, I’ll just roll with it.

“Um, sure, sweetheart.  Thank you for asking.”  And I proceeded to wipe her “back bottom” for her.

So daddy has a “peanut” and Julie, Mommy, and April all have a “bottom”.

And our asses can be pleasantly referred to as “back bottoms” now.

Should I correct her?

…

I’m thinking not.

Current Mood: Alarmed

Tags: Kids

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at 2:00 pm and is filed under Confessions, Make Me Smile, My Girls. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.