How To Scare the Crap Out of A Few Shits

A few stupid kids walk by my house and torment my dogs on their way home from school on a daily basis.  It just never gets old to them.  I mean, how freaking exciting is it to stand in my driveway and hoot and holler like a couple of morons at my dogs?  Sheesh.

Usually, I just glare at them from the dance room or kitchen window, but because I clearly have about as much patience as a pregnant woman’s bladder today, I lost all impulse control.

I opened my front door and stood out there with my arms folded for about three minutes before those little shits noticed I was watching them.

When they finally looked my way and sheepishly pretended they were innocent of any puppy-torment, words started flying out my mouth before I could stop them.

Damn diarrhea of the mouth.

“If you don’t leave my dogs alone, I’m gonna let them out.” As I shot them a menacing school-teacher face, of course.

And you gotta understand, these dogs are twice the size of those monsters.  Nevermind the fact that they’re complete pussy cats instead of the mean dinosaurs their bark threatens them to be.

Well, that one-liner got their attention.  The three of them scurried off as if a rattle snake just tried to bite them in the ass.

Tomorrow, if they do it again, I’m opening the gate once and for all.

The only threat my pooches actually pose is that someone might drown under Balou’s loving slobber.   However, the terrified looks on their faces would be well worth it.

Moral of story?  Don’t fuck with a crazy person’s dogs.

Current Mood:Mischievous emoticon Mischievous

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 3:48 pm and is filed under Bitching, Random Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “How To Scare the Crap Out of A Few Shits”

  1. Jessica Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    hahahahahahaha intimidation is half the battle.

  2. James Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Excellent! Of course now we’ll know who to talk to when our house is egged. :-)

  3. Stephanie Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    LOL!!

  4. Samantha Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    Hahaha, the kids in my neighborhood like to cut through my backyard. It’s annoying. My dog boo is 20lbs of angry dog though. She’s loves people she knows well, but hates strangers. She stands on our hot tub cover and just waits for anything to come by that she can bark at. One of these days, I’m going to be waiting on the other side of the yard when they cut through.

  5. Tamra Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    James… are you kidding? I’ll let them get eaten before they dare throw an egg at our house. I hate cleaning that shiz off my car.

  6. Rosanne Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 12:32 am

    You rock! I’m with you 100%.