A Surprisingly Sane Blog

I just had a memory flash into my head that almost landed me on the floor with laughter.

James and Julie are at a birthday party and April is napping, so it was one of those really stupid moments where I was talking and laughing to myself.  Hopefully there are no hidden cameras in my house.

But I have to tell this story because it’s so dumb that I just can’t resist.  Sometimes, I have little self-control.

Several years ago, James decided to surprise me and take me to San Diego for my birthday.  We had one of those early morning flights- the kind where you get up long before the sun makes an appearance.  To save time, I showered and laid out my clothes the night before so that we could make a quick exit.

Well, my alarm woke me at a comical hour, and I turned on nothing but a nightlight so that my eyes wouldn’t burn out of my skull.  I sleepily threw my clothes and shoes on and managed to brush my hair and teeth in the dark before stumbling out the door and into the car.

My dad dropped James and I off at the airport, and we were practically comatose while going through security and waiting for our flight.  Right before lining up to board the plane, I decided to take a quick potty break.

Well, as I was sitting on the toilet, I looked down at my feet for the first time that morning.  And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason you should never, ever, ever get dressed in the dark.

To my complete horror, adorning my feet were two completely different Birkenstock sandals.  One had two straps, the other had three.

I sat there for a second hoping I was hallucinating.

I wasn’t.

It’s bad enough that I was wearing caveman shoes that grip your sweaty feet and make farting sounds when you walk, but about million times worse that they were actually mismatched on top of it all.

Panicking, I realized that I was actually stuck in the middle of that dream where you are at school wearing nothing but your poop-stained underwear.  Everyone was going to be laughing at me when they realized I was wearing two different fucking shoes.  Except it wasn’t a dream.  What could I do?  My mind raced while I wiped, flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and bolted back toward the boarding line where James was waiting for me.

Well, I did what anyone else in my shoes (dorky pun intended) would have done.  Without hesitation, I threw open my carry-on luggage and yanked out the only other pair of shoes I had with me while frantically shoving the retarded mis-mated ones in my bag.

I must have looked pretty cool wearing a pair of strappy black heels with my denim shorts and casual tank top.  Really stylish.  But hey, at least I had the same damn shoe on each foot.  I silently thanked God the whole way there that I’d packed a second pair of shoes in my backpack.

Moral of story?  Never get dressed in the dark.

Oh, and always bring an extra pair of clothes and shoes in your carry-on bag just in case.

Current Mood: Playful & Alarmed

James has had this dream of running his own business since college.  Particularly, a website design business.

He is nothing short of a genius when it comes down to computer software programming.  For real.  It’s kind of disgusting how good he is at it.

However, the actual programming part is where his brilliance comes to a screeching halt.  He could never become a one-man-web-designer because his visual creativity rivals none other than his three-year-old daughter’s artistic skills.

In plain English, that man could downright offend a stick figure with his, er, lack of ability to draw even a *somewhat* straight line.  And he couldn’t tell you the difference between dark blue and indigo if you had him by the nuts in one hand and a held a gleaming pocketknife in the other.

So luckily (or maybe not so luckily…) for him, he married, well, me.

I am the polar opposite in the scholarly intelligence department.  Whereas I flunked out of college calculus and couldn’t speak ‘computer’ or ‘engineer’ to save my kids’ lives, my journalism photography, layout and design, and writing classes were a piece of cake.  While James was blowing the minds of other computer engineers, I was busy earning an award for my work as Design Chief for a college newspaper.

Together, we have enough of the puzzle pieces to create a somewhat coherent web design team.  We’re admittedly still a little rough around the edges, and we can kind of suck a time management sometimes, however, we do a good job working together.

So after years of talking about starting our own business and a number of freelance website-related jobs later, we finally did it.  We made our website design business official.  Meaning, we are an actual Limited Liability Company now.  Dancing By Design, LLC.  Doesn’t that sound spiffy?

Now, if our website were up and running, this would be much more impressive.  But it’s not, so this is going to be rather anti-climactic in that department.

To be honest, I finished the design for our site ages ago, but we’ve been so busy with other jobs that we just haven’t gotten around to actually making it live.  Now that we’re officially official, though, we’re going to get it up and running sometime *very* soon.  I promise.

And in case you were wondering, no, this is not my nanny-nanny-boo-boo-stick-your-head-in-doo-doo secret that I was teasing the internet world with a couple weeks ago.  In good time, I’ll spill that one.  Just not yet.  And for the second time… NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT AGAIN.  In fact, I’m thinking it’s time for James to get his baby-batter tubes snipped and cauterized.

So anyway, wish us luck in this whole business-owner thing.  We are keeping it small and have no plans of James quitting his job or anything to do this full-time.

However, we are planning on taking over the world from our dance room/workspace.

Muah ha ha haaaaa!

Current Mood: Playful