Why I Chose Home Birth
Yes, I am a home-birthing hippie. I look fat and sweaty and I’m wearing an adult diaper in some of those pictures, so click on that link at your own risk.
Probably the number one thing I hear when I tell people that I gave birth at home is, “On purpose?”. Those two words are almost always accompanied by wide eyes and a tone of shock, as if no one could possibly imagine someone being stupid enough to pop a baby out of their vagina at home. Atrocious.
Yes, it was on purpose. Yes, the home birth was planned. Yes, I did it with a midwife instead of a doctor. Yes, that means I did it without any pain medication whatsoever.
And you know what? I wouldn’t choose to do it any other way.
The next question that usually follows is the baffled, “Why?”. As in, why on earth would you choose to do something like that? Don’t you know that giving birth is dangerous? Don’t you know you and the baby could both die if something were to go wrong? Don’t you know the safest place to give birth is in a hospital with an IV stuck in your arm and a doctor ready to rip the kid out of your belly in case of an emergency?
And you know what my answer to that is?
YES, I know all the risks. But more importantly, I made the safest decision for my baby and I that I could. Because a little known fact here in America is that the majority of “problems” that arise during labor and birth are actually caused by medical interventions in the first place. Your chances of avoiding at least some kind of intervention at a hospital are next to none unless you show up as the baby’s head is crowning. And it works like a domino effect… once one is introduced, another one usually follows, and another, and another… which explains why nearly 1/3 of births in our country end as a cesarean section these days. Oh, and by the way, did you know that a c-section is actually major abdominal surgery with all kinds of risks involved? Just because it happens more times a day than we can count doesn’t mean it’s a fool-proof kind of procedure. I am *not* saying that your personal c-section wasn’t necessary, so don’t get bent out of shape over that, okay? What I *am* saying is that in most cases, an emergency c-section happens as a result of medical interventions in the first place. You don’t believe me, do a little research.
In other words, giving birth at home with a skilled certified nurse midwife is actually safer than having a baby in a hospital in a lot of cases. Sadly, we are brainwashed into believing otherwise. You want some kind of proof? Check out the literature, statistics, and watch the movie, “The Business Of Being Born”.
Now, I know that what I just said sounds awfully one-sided. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Tamra, for someone who preaches open-mindedness, you’re being kind of a close-minded twat about this”.
So here’s the rest of what I was going to say, because you’re right.
I am not an extreme crunchy-granola girl by any stretch of the imagination. I do NOT believe by any means that home birth or natural birth is right for everyone. Water birth worked for me, but not everyone is comfortable sitting in a bath of their own bodily fluids while a human being bulges like a scene out of hell from their delicate woman parts.
However, I do believe that the beautifully natural process that is birth has become nothing short of a over-analyzed, over-sensationalized, over-cover-the-doctor’s-ass-ilized medical procedure. If you look at the USA’s statistics versus other countries’ birth outcomes, it’s downright scary.
So why on earth am I preaching about this? It’s because I get so upset when I hear about friends of mine wishing for a natural birth only to be told no simply because their labors or pregnancies don’t follow some sort of artificial expectation or generalized timeline.
Who on earth set the standard for one centimeter of dilation per hour? Or that the bag of waters needs to be broken at a certain time to “speed things up”? Why is 40 weeks the magic number when, in fact, the natural, un-induced pregnancy actually averages at 41 weeks and 1 day gestation?
One size doesn’t fit all.
Someone needs to retrain the doctors here. Send them to Sweden for education on when certain procedures are actually necessary and not merely a convenience.
You wanna know why I chose natural birth? It’s because I wasn’t afraid of letting my body do something that is a natural occurence… and a certain jackass of a doctor pretty much told me I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So I showed him. I switched to a midwife at a birthing center at the very end of my pregnancy and begged everyone in the room to kill me while experiencing the most ungodly pain imaginable called back labor. But dammit, I did it. Just as nature intended it. I would have sent that jackass doctor a gloating I told you so if my stubborn butt hadn’t been passing out from the pain afterward.
The second time, I decided to do it at home because the birthing center was under different management with tighter restrictions. In case my water broke abnormally early like it did the first time, I didn’t want the new protocol to force me into the hospital.
My choice to to do a home birth was a smart one. Everything happened so fast that by the time I realized I really was in labor, I was at the end. And by the time the contractions got painful enough for me to consider heading off to my birthing place, April was on her way out.
If I’d planned another birth center birth, I would have made it as far as my front porch.
Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I tell you that you should do it, too? Not necessarily. Everyone is different, and a home birth will only work if it’s within your comfort zone. However, if you’re interested and considering it, I say go for it.
But at any rate, I say choose what you’re comfortable with. Educate yourself on the pros and cons of home birth, hospital birth, and all the risks of the different kinds of interventions available. Don’t take “no” or “it’s standard procedure” for an answer if you want something a little unusual like *gasp* natural birth. I know I didn’t take “you can’t do that” for an answer.
Who cares if it’s a little off the beaten path?
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Tags: Homebirth
May 7th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I sure as hell don’t want to be forced to lie on my back with needles sticking out of me! No way! One of my friends from the army agrees with me. Unfortunately her husband is against the home birth, but they agree on the water birth. Kyle tells me that it’s my body, so it’s my choice, I like that attitude!
May 7th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I am glad you have had good experiences with home birthing. If my body wouldn’t have come down with pre-eclampsia with my first child delivering her at 30 weeks to save us both, I would have also chose home birthing. I agree a woman should be in charge of how she gives birth. I think the norm of having children in the hospital came about from doctor’s scaring mothers-to-be. They can’t make money if they aren’t there.. yada yada .. but like my case it is good that we do have hospitals to save our asses sometimes. I am still amazed at the women that get taken back when I say that I breast fed my kids.