The Things We Call Our Kids

Over the course of time, my girls have acquired a plethora of nicknames.  When I stop and think about them, I realize that some of them are a bit more than borderline ridiculous.

When Julie was still in utero (I hate that word, by the way, it sounds really gross for some reason), we called her “Dishwasher”.  Yes, you saw that right.  We had plans to pop out an insane amount of children and force them to clean for us.  Our own little quarter-Chinese sweatshop.  It must have had a bit of an affect on her because she seems obsessed with cleaning the dishes.  That’s a good thing, right?

Now, she has a whole array of other names that we commonly address her by:

  1. Beetle-bop
  2. Stinker-butt
  3. Booger
  4. Little shit (although not when she’s within earshot)
  5. Monster
  6. Mooch (this is a recent nickname, since she is constantly stealing food from her little sister’s tray)
  7. Burrito (don’t ask)

I also refer to her as “your daughter” when talking to James because there is no way in hell she got that attitude problem from me.  *cough*

Now, April hasn’t been on this earth long enough to reach the horrendous 3-year-old stage yet, so consequently, her nicknames don’t include any cuss words behind closed doors.

When she was just a bump in my belly, we called her (and we actually referred to her as “it” because we skipped getting an ultrasound) “Shrimpy”.  If you’ve ever seen images of the early stages of fetal development, you’ll understand why.  Sick and wrong, I know, but consider the source.

That brings us to her current nicknames, which sound quite a bit more adorable than the majority of her big sister’s:

  1. Peanut
  2. Goobie
  3. Stinky-Doodle
  4. Buglet
  5. Wiggly-Worm
  6. And my most recent: Scooter-Patooter

And both my girls are frequently awarded with the “Super Duper Pooper” nickname when they move their bowels (ha ha, another term that makes me cringe).  They got their father’s eating habits.

In attempt to stifle the general public’s gag reflex, we kindly refer to them as “Julie” and “April” when we’re around other people.  For the most part, anyway.

What do you call your kids?

Current Mood:Playful emoticon Playful

This entry was posted on Friday, May 15th, 2009 at 1:35 pm and is filed under Daily Ramble, My Girls. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “The Things We Call Our Kids”

  1. LaRaeven Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Chelsea, my youngest, has many nicknames. We call her;
    Bird (that is from when she was teeny tiny breastfeeding)
    Piranha (from later breastfeeding)
    Stinky McStinkerson
    Poopy Mcpooperpants
    Lil’ bit

    Vincent, my middle child, is called;
    Vino
    Bubba
    Lil’ man
    Bro
    Shit Head Jr. (My husband is the original Shit Head. Even to this day his mother still refers to him that way.)

    and finally, my oldest Brittany, who some how came out with the least nicknames, is called;
    Bebe
    Brat
    Sissy

  2. Mia Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    Ok, I love the quarter Chinese sweatshop comment, that made me laugh so hard. I’m so glad your my un-pc best friend!!

  3. Jessica Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Both kids are referred to as:

    turd
    turd monkey
    turd monster
    stinker
    pookie
    pookie pie
    hunny bunny
    hunny
    sweetheart
    angel
    booger
    booger bear

    E is:

    monkey toes*
    monkey
    princess
    fluffy bottom

    K is:

    punkin
    punkin butt*
    angel bug

    *the names i gave my children the first time i saw them…

  4. James Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    And all this time I thought it was spelled “Gooby” :-)

  5. Amy Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    We got the ultrasound, but wanted a surprise. When we showed pictures of a head and feet to my father he said “so what, you’re giving birth to Mr. Potato Head?” And for the remainder of my pregancy Harrison was known as Tater.
    His nicknames are:
    Tater and Cousin Tater
    Pete
    George
    Cousin Harry
    HJ
    Stink and Stinky
    Buddy
    Punky

  6. Kathryn-the-Great Says:
    May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    You forgot we all call April “Chubbers” or “Chublet!”

  7. Kim Says:
    May 16th, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Kade gets called the following:

    1) Piglet (b/c he was soooo tiny and snorted a lot)
    2) Smiley McPhee
    3) Sir Snorts-a-lot
    4) Super Dooper Pooper
    5) Pumpkin
    6) Fussbuckets (when he is cranky)
    7) Sweet Little Peach Head (b/c his head is fuzzy like a peach)

  8. Tamra Says:
    May 18th, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Oh, you guys reminded me of more!

    *Fuss Bucket
    *Chublet
    *Fatty-Cakes
    *Chunky-Monkey

  9. Sally Says:
    May 26th, 2009 at 8:35 am

    Archer is mostly just Archer, but sometimes Arch. All the small children in our family call him “Baby Archer” as if Baby is his first name. And of course, Chance calls him Little Shit too, but it doesn’t matter if he is in ear shot or not! : ) And it makes him laugh.