Operation Brain Overload
Yesterday and today have been true tests of the power of Prozac.
Oh, and so was this weekend for reasons related to family issues. Not my family. The in-laws. But that is just too long of a story to even get into. They are simply not worth the stress they create or the energy it would take type out all the problems we have had with them.
Thank goodness for my new camera, which has kept me extremely busy over the last few days, or else I just may have gone off the deep end again. And unfortunately, my therapist is out of town through the end of the month.
In other words: The last few days have been absolute hell.
A fussy baby getting used to her helmet. My internet connection fucking up in the middle of important things. My computer crapping out (for real). In-laws. A stressed-out husband. Insomnia. The terrible 3-year-old stage. My own family trying to plan a trip that works around everyone’s schedules. Dreams that imply constant guilt over wanting what is best for myself.
All of it seems so trivial looking at it on the computer screen. So why does it all feel like an avalanche?
Yesterday, I had one of those days that I just wanted to erase and start all over again. I woke up early, took a shower, made myself some coffee, and settled down to start getting some work done before heading off to do the photo shoot that led to my bladder nearly rupturing all over the interior of my car. I had made up my mind that I was not going to let the stressful weekend ruin my day.
It didn’t work.
Seconds after I poured my coffee, I realized with a panic that it was Tuesday instead of Monday, and April (who was peacefully down for her morning nap) had a doctor’s appointment for an ear infection follow-up in exactly 10 minutes.
Shit.
Down the cup of coffee. Dump the rest of the pot in a travel mug. Throw rudely awakened baby into carseat. Get stuck in road block behind drivers who don’t know their anus from the steering wheel. Show up late to appointment. Zoom home. Pick up camera. Head off to photo shoot.
At least the photography part went well. But then the bladder incident happened, I got home, and the rest of the day went something like the above scenario. Different, but the same shit. With a baby who refused to sleep the rest of the day, I might add.
And then this morning… oh this morning. My internet connection crapped out, my computer tried to eat the disk I inserted, and now the damn thing is dying. It’s on its last coughing breath, anyway, but I just really didn’t want to have to fork out the cash to buy a new one just yet.
Add all that to the fact that it’s miserably hot and sunny outside. And the building thunderstorm just unfortunately collapsed into a burst of blue sky. *sigh* I hate this place.
Does my job as a mom come with benefits? Can I take a mental health day?
Current Mood:
Alarmed
May 27th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I’m glad you feel the same way as me. I mean, not necessarily glad, but that other people can sympathize! I’m there with ya, but I know for a fact my drama is only going to get worse with the impending weekend. Hopefully yours gets better! : )