Case Of the Messy House… Solved.
I had a little conversation with James last night. It didn’t go anything like I expected it to.
This is what I hoped would happen:
Me: I’ve been feeling really frustrated lately because I can’t seem to keep up with the mess in the house. It would make me feel better if you would help me out and clean a little more on a daily basis.
James: (not sarcastically) Okay, sure honey. I’ll start by cleaning my toenails out right this second, and first thing tomorrow, I’ll wave my magic wand and *poof* the house will be spic and span. I love you. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so frustrated. I’ll make cleaning part of my daily routine.
This is what actually happened:
Fingers were pointed about who makes which mess. Excuses were made. And finally, the truth came out: “I didn’t have to do any chores when I was growing up. My mom did all the cleaning and washed all the dishes and stuff.”
Well, that explained a lot. The conversation finally moved forward from there, and ended something like this:
Me: Look, I know you’re busy, but I am too. I wish I was a better housekeeper, but I’m just not. I kind of suck at it, to be honest. I get overwhelmed having to clean up three other people’s crap in addition to my own. All I am asking is for you to make a little more effort and clean a little more.
James: (big sigh) What you’re asking isn’t unreasonable, it’s just that it’s tough because I’m so busy.
Me: Well, living in a messy house isn’t an option for me. I can’t stand it. If we can’t keep it clean, then I’m hiring someone to do it for us.
James: No, we don’t need someone else to clean it for us. We just need to do it. I’ll make a point to help out more.
Success. Well, maybe. We’ll see how it goes over the next few weeks. Otherwise, you’ll read a blog about how much I love my housekeeper in the near future.
……….
This, ladies and gents, is the reason why you should NEVER let your kids get away with not cleaning up after themselves.
’nuff said.
Current Mood:
Alarmed
June 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Just reading this post on your blog is compelling me to clean something. Ugh! As the kiddos get older you will be able to get more help out of them. My oldest, 9 year old, is now replacing the trash bag in the kitchen, putting all dirty dishes in the dishwasher no matter who they belong to, and washing her own clothes. This is all on top of keeping her room picked up for her controlling momma to inspect once a day. Sometimes I think ok she is suppose to be a kid.. then I think about who would have to do all of those chores if she didn’t do it… oh yea that is right .. ME! ok I have to go clean something before I tear the skin from my arm thinking about it. *twitch twitch* side note .. glad you were up front with your hubster. That is the only way to get help is to ask for it. *twitch twitch* Must clean ………..
June 2nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
At least, in the end, the conversation was productive. I hope things work out. My mom grew up with a maid so as a child, I always felt like my brother and I were there to do her cleaning. We had cleaning lists from a very young age and she took care of the laundry and cooking. Never seemed really fair to me. When my brother and I moved out of the house, I think she went several years without doing ANY cleaning (with the exception of the kitchen). I know that while I will never make my children do all my household chores, I will also never let them get away with doing nothing. My son has a weekly chore list at the age of 9 that includes gathering trash from around the house two nights a week, helping unload groceries from the store, sorting his laundry and getting it to me to do (it’s his responsibility so if he doesn’t get me his clothes, he doesn’t have any to wear!), and cleaning his room. There will be more added in the next year, too. Otherwise, household chores are left to me. However…my lovely husband agreed to pay for a maid to come once a month. I love those days…coming home from work knowing my house will be freshly vacuumed, dusted, mopped, etc…so very nice! And now I try to keep up with things in between those monthly visits! I’m getting better, really I am!
Good luck with everything!
June 2nd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Keep at him. Kyle has had to be up my ass fairly constantly for the past year and a half. it sucks, but keep on him. It is hard to train yourself to do something that someone else has been doing for you for so long. Try to not let it build so much that you want to tear his head off. A simple, “hey hun, can you get that?” works wonders. I know you shouldn’t HAVE to tell him this, but the little reminders will help until he figures it out on his own.
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I HATE cleaning. I’m an awful housekeeper. Getting a ‘housekeeper’ is like #3 on my list of things to do when I have an income!
June 3rd, 2009 at 6:39 am
We plan to get one too. There just isn’t enough time in the day to do everything you’re supposed to do, and keep up with the house. Unfortunately it’s not like when we were kids and moms could stay home and do all of that….Even if I were at home all day, I wouldn’t want to spend the day cleaning