A Surprisingly Sane Blog

So this is personal.  Really personal.  And it’s most definitely not something I would normally blog about publicly because it involves some unflattering aspects about people that I love dearly. But I have to.  I just have to get it out.  I’m sick of holding this in while it ruptures a hole in my heart.

My Mom and Dad.

I have great parents.  They’re both wonderful, loving people.  I’m very close to them, and I talk to them nearly every day.  But holyfuckingcow, they can drive me absolutely nuts more than anyone else I can think of.  Including my husband and two monsters.

They did the best they possibly could to raise us well and to provide everything we needed, and they did a great job.  I love them unconditionally and always will.  They have helped shape who I’ve become, and I am forever grateful.

But dammit, I wish I could be more open with them about my severe depression and all the treatment I’ve had to receive to survive. They have no clue, and they wouldn’t respond well if they found out.

I wish they weren’t too proud to seek help for their own mile-high-cow-dung-pile of emotional instability, mental issues, and marital problems.

I wish I could talk to them about how excited I am to move to Seattle without their guilt trips and sour comments about the place they once called home but chose to leave.

I wish they’d taught me to be more independent so that I didn’t feel like a lost little girl when I make difficult changes that are necessary to live my life and make positive choices for myself and my own family.

I wish I didn’t have to listen to my parents talk shit about one another when they’re in the midst of one of their never-ending spats.  Or better yet, be the confidant in situations that no daughter should ever have to role-play.

I wish my sister and I didn’t have to play constant damage control amongst our family of five.

I wish I didn’t have to walk on eggshells in fear of one of them having a serious breakdown and throwing a glass of water at me that shatters all over the porcelain tile floor behind me.

I wish we could speak openly about some of the horrible, damaging, secret events that have taken place behind our closed door and kind smiles.

I wish they weren’t too proud to apologize to one another and to us when they have made a mistake.

I wish they wouldn’t pull the “poor me” card and make everyone’s lives miserable every seldom time that something along these lines is brought to their attention.

But most of all, I wish that they could just find a way to attempt to make their lives together a happy, positive one.

Considering the fact that trying new things such as (*gasp*) eating a a new restaurant is nearly impossible for them, I know it’s stupid of me to believe that they would ever choose to step out of their comfort zone and actually try to make healthy changes in their lives.

But I still hope.

*sigh*

Am I the only one?  What do you wish for your parents?  Is everyone’s family a mess in their own way?  Even the close ones like mine?

Current Mood: Sad

I had this dream the night before last that skinny jeans and tapered legs with pleats were back with a vengeance.

Can you say, “Oh, the horror“?

There is nothing attractive about a pair of pants that emphasizes a set of chicken legs and a cellulite-ridden ass.  Or worse, balloons out from the hip and thigh before cutting off the circulation from your ankle.

While I admit that I have seen a small percentage of women pull the skinny pants off with class, they’re the extreme minority.  In general, they’re a complete fashion no-no.  Look, they aren’t even attractive on the model who barfed up nothing but bile minutes before her strut down the catwalk, okay?

If you’re going to adorn yourself in something skin-tight, make it a mini dress with a cute pair of hooker heels or something.  At least that would look cute, even if it is a little skanky.  Admit it.  You know you’d dress like that behind closed doors if you had the outfit, right?  I mean, *cough* I sure do.

And as for the tapered-leg pleated pants?  Just DON’T.

Thank God it was a dream.  I woke up in a bit of a panic.

A word of fashion advice?  A relaxed or flared ankle that balances out the hip is so much more attractive on just about anyone.

Current Mood: Alarmed