Clearly, they want their teeth knocked out.
If I hear one more person say, “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat!” like it’s a good thing one more time when I make a comment about how stifling this motherfucking weather is, I’m going to knock them on their ass and make them cry for their mama.
What the hell does that mean, anyway? Hello, I’m a moron who thinks that if I tell you… oh, don’t worry, it’s not humid so it’s not so bad… the extreme temperatures are suddenly no big deal? Is it supposed to make me feel better that it’s 110 freaking degrees outside and you can’t touch the steering wheel in your car without singeing the skin off the palms of your hands? Does it miraculously transform the shiteous temperature into a pleasant thing?
It’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. Usually, the idiot speaking that moronic cliche says it with good humor and a big grin, as if it’s some kind of great joke that all of us desert dwellers share.
It’s not. It’s not a big fucking joke.
This kind of weather is the epitomy of miserable. Why anyone would willingly choose to condemn themselves to this sort of hell is completely out of their mind.
But that’s just my humble opinion. Everyone else looks at me like I have a plum-sized boil exploding pus in the middle of my forehead when I tell them that cool weather and cloudy skies is my forecast of choice. What, like that’s so hard to believe?
I’m a vampire. Didn’t you know?
Current Mood:
Angry
July 17th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Thanks for the laugh. How true…what a stupid thing to say. Perhaps while burning in hell that is what people say “at least it isn’t humid here.”
You’re a vampire huh? Are you the sparkling kind? Or the sex-crazed kind? Nevermind, don’t answer that.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
You know what pisses me off the most- the fact that it’s not even dry! It’s freaking monsoon season, that means we get 110 degrees + humidity. And guess what? Monsoon season supposedly started early this year so that just means it is more miserably hot and humid than usual. So I too am going to hurt the next person who says “But it’s a dry heat!” by throwing them out onto the 200 degree pavement to fry in our “dry” sauna
July 18th, 2009 at 8:37 am
I thought I was going to spontaneously combust yesterday. Fuck this weather, fuck this state,and definitely fuck the people that say that. Get me outta here!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:12 am
OMG – I’m at a hotel in Flagstaff and we were having breakfast and the Phoenix weather was on the TV – it said: Excessive Heat Advisory because it’s going to be 115 today and tomorrow and we were moaning and some a-hole walked by and quipped, “But it’s a dry heat.” We shot him.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Woo hoo! Good for you, Rosanne. I hope he moaned for mercy pitifully after you shot him.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:21 am
I heard someone say that the other day (who was from Glendale actually) and the response he got was, “Yeah, ovens have dry heat too, you don’t see me crawling in mine.”
July 20th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Being in MI I can only relate to the one time I went to Vegas in July. Everyone said the same thing. The first night we were there I walked out of the hotel expecting it to be cooled down and instead I thought I was on fire. I could barely breathe. One of the days we went to Hoover Dam and it was 115. I didn’t want to get out of the bus! I don’t care if it’s dry or humid or anything in between. It’s HOT! Many of my friends are Lebanese and they all say in the desert people are nocturnal. You have to be since it’s too flipping hot during the day. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to move someplace more suitable for humans. I’m not sure I’m a fan of all the rain though.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Heard the best one yesterday as I got off the plane in Tucson. A guy said, “But it’s a dry heat. And so’s your oven!” loved it. welcome home to me.