Reason #9&Ur5i2yt34 I Hate Living At Home
Monday, August 31st, 2009Me: (attempting to peel fresh garlic while holding the baby on left hip) I’m making spaghetti for dinner, but I need help with April. Julie’s sick and grumpy and trying to take a nap and the monster is clinging to me for dear life. (Puts baby down, who starts hollering.)
Mom: Mmm, spaghetti sounds good.
April: (clinging to my leg and yelling) Ma ma ma ma maaaaaaa!
Mom: Ugh, I feel so sick today. I just felt nauseous all day at work. I need to lay down. (Proceeds to bitch and whine about how tired she is.)
Me: April, please stop yelling. I can’t hold you while I’m doing this. My hands are full of garlic and onion. (Picks up baby to quiet her down.)
(Mom stares at April and yawns.)
Me: Mom, could you please hold her for a minute so I can finish sauteing the veggies?
Mom: (Reluctantly takes April as I pass her off) Ugh, I hope I’m not getting sick. I’m going to go lay down. (Places April on the floor and sticks a handful of cereal on the kid table for her to munch on and leaves the kitchen.)
April: Waaaaaaaaaaaah! Ma ma ma maaaaaaa! Ahhhhhhhh! (crawls over to cling on my leg again while I try to finish cooking.)
**Imagine similar frustrating scenario for the next five minutes until I stick her in her portable crib in the same room that Julie was unable to nap in due to her sister’s hollering and screaming. She continues to squeal like a monkey.**
So twenty minutes later dinner is complete and my mom walks out of the room.
Mom: I dozed off for a few minutes and feel so much better… (pauses) … oh, where’s the baby?
(As if you can’t hear her down the hall?)
Me: In her crib. I couldn’t cook with her stuck to me like glue.
Mom: Oh, did Julie fall asleep?
Me: Um, no. She couldn’t. April was screaming too loudly and I couldn’t keep her quiet while I was busy chopping onions.
I was clearly pissed off and disgusted while I went to get the girls and tried to put April in her highchair.
Me: (murmuring) I love you, but I can’t wait until you’re 18 and I can kick you out of my house if you’re this obnoxious at that age.
[At this point, I'm going to dare you to tell me I'm a bad mother for saying that... and if you do, I'm going to hunt you down and force you to watch my Lil' Fang for a week straight while living under my parents' roof if you take me up on it.]
Mom: Oh Tamra, be patient with her.
(I shoot my mother a death glare that she doesn’t see.)
Put me out of my misery, dammit. THIS IS JUST MADDENING.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, NO, Julie did not get her much-needed nap, and I am still listening to my mother bitch about how nauseous she was feeling at work AT THIS VERY SECOND. Which, by the way, she’s always whining about and always comes to the same conclusion: Oh, I’m dehydrated. It’s super hot today and I didn’t get enough water.
Heh, and she just asked me what I was typing.
Current Mood:
Angry

