Not to Judge, But You Need My Foot Up Your Ass
Part of the less-glamorous side of moving includes finding new homes for our dogs.
We’re going to be staying with my parents for a few weeks before living in temporary housing in a downtown Seattle apartment. Adding two gigantic dogs to the mix unfortunately doesn’t make a feasible equation. My family has a large yard, but no fence, and the apartment living doesn’t include dogs of such immense size. They shed a lot and I have a sensitivity to animal fur, so living indoors just isn’t even an option.
After begging nearly everyone I know to give my dogs a new home, we settled upon the sad reality- we need to expand our search horizons to find them new families.
So I posted an add on Craigslist:
We are moving out of state and must find a new home for our wonderful Great Pyrenees/Anatolian Shepherd mix dogs. Bella and Balou (1 female, 1 male) are litter mates, 3-4 years old, fixed, and in excellent health.
Our dogs are fantastic with other animals and people of all ages including children and babies. They were bred and born on a farm, so they are naturals with other animals. They prefer to be outdoors the majority of the time, so a yard with a fence is a must. Both are mild-tempered, well-mannered, mellow, gentle, and very loving. They are not aggressive at all and are used to strangers coming into the backyard to maintain our pool and yard. Great pets for a single person or an entire family. They love going on walks, spending time at the dog park, and just hanging out with their family.
Please consider giving one or both of our wonderful pets a new, loving home. We are heartbroken to leave our beloved pets behind and want them to find families that will care for them as much as we do.
Luckily, a few people responded immediately, and one lady is coming tomorrow morning to meet our puppy-faces.
But, then I received this email:
I’m not judging you,but can I ask why it is that if you love these dogs so much,why can’t you find a way for them to go with you????? They are beautiful and I would move mountains to find a way for them to stay with you,if I didn’t have 4 dogs already,but my dogs would not get along with them.
Getting an email like that just pissed me off. It’s stupid, I know, but I can’t help how it made me feel. I’ve been feeling slightly more sensitive lately due to all the crazy stress of tying up loose ends and getting ready to move, so I’m entitled to act a little hormonal about this. Since that moron decided to make my blood boil, I’m going to bitch about it on the internet.
First of all, anytime you have to begin a sentence with, “I’m not judging you but…,” or, “Not to be a asshole, but…,” or, “Not be an insensitive, uneducated, nosy son-of-a-bitch, but…,” then what you’re getting ready to flap your jaws about is 99% likely to do just that.
I have never understood why people seem to think that if they offer a friendly little tidbit right before the blow, it’s going to somehow lesson the rudeness. Dude, if you’re going to say it, stop acting like a pussy and just own it.
I played around with responding in some awful way, “My great-uncle just died when the parachute wouldn’t open and I’m moving up to Alaska to live with his widow. She has only one working eyeball due to being bit by a huge dog 5 years ago. Seeing dogs puts her in a state of severe panic, and I just don’t have the heart to force her live with my two 100-pound-dogs in her 1-bedroom apartment.”
But I didn’t. Should I? Do you dare me?
Anyway, back to the point. Was that person guzzling a bottle of vodka while they wrote that? What the hell does that last sentence mean? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE FIFTY QUESTION MARKS??????????????????? And really, do they honestly expect me to respond? Hi, you’re a complete stranger and you’ve made it blatantly clear that you have no intention of helping us find a home for our pooches, but here’s the full story as to why we can’t bring our dogs when we move.
It boggles my brain how anyone could be insensitive to a situation they know nothing about. I want my dogs to have a better home than we can provide for them at this time. This is not a selfish decision, it’s a selfless one. It’s not like I want to get rid of them. I’m sorry if that makes me a bad puppy mama.
*growl*
Bitching over.
Current Mood:
Angry
August 15th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Glad to hear you are getting responses! I say respond to that asshole, start with “Not to be a bitch, but…,” then finish with something super bitchy. It’ll make you feel better (and I’d get great joy out of it). Why is this prick even looking at dogs online if they don’t want any more because they’ve already got 4???????
August 15th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Wow, some people really are insensitive morons. Do they really have nothing better to do in their sad pathetic lives that they send emails to complete strangers asking for personal details? Geez.
I’m so sorry you have to give away your dogs. I know how attached you must be to them. I hope they go to a wonderful, loving home.
August 15th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
what an insensitive prick. as if it’s any of their damn business in the first place. wish i could take your dogs for you.
August 15th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
I’m with Kathryn on the greeting and then follow it up with something to the effect of “nothing better to do on a Saturday than sit around being a judgemental prick or could you not find anything you liked on the erotic services for hire portion of Craigslist?” Oh but should you choose to respond may I recommend that you set up a free anonymous email account before doing so to avoid further harassment?
August 15th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
As we say here in the south “bless her heart, she’s just an idiot.” Always preface your insult with “Bless his/her heart” and you are a-ok.
August 15th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
“Hi there. I never thought of moving mountains! What a fantastic idea!!! Where do I get a mountain mover?”
Anyone who starts off with “no offense” or “I’m not judging you” are dumbasses fulling intending to offend or judge!
August 15th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Haha, I agree with Kath and Mica. This over judgemental nosy prick needs to get his or her ass beat. That’s bullshit. You’re trying to do what’s best to find them a home, and not have to dump them into a shelter that is already over crowded. By putting them on craigslist, people can look for exactly what they want, and find your dogs. You’re doing a good thing.
August 15th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Okay really!? You aren’t putting them down or abandoing them on the side of the road, you are being a respondsible pet owner and trying to find them new homes. What is so wrong with that?
LMAO at Amy’s comment! As a fellow southern I can actually say that is true.
August 15th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Ugh. Poor thing. I wish I could take your pups from you! My mom just adopted a Pyrenees yesterday and I <3 Anatolian’s too. I am praying you find a good home for them. I agree that you are being selfless in finding them a home. I am very selfish when it comes to my animals and with Taz I often kept her in homes that were WAY too small for her because I couldn’t bear to find her a home. And somehow, in mainstream America, that makes me a good dog owner because I won’t part with her. Ugh. You are a great doggy mommy. Don’t you feel bad for one little second.
August 16th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Here’s the thing, not knowing anything about your personal sitch I can’t comment on your reasons for not bringing the dogs to your new apt. That said, it can be heart breaking for some animal lovers to here over and over, stories of ppm who brought animals into their lives only to “dispose” of them when they nolonger had the room in their lives. The hope being that u could say or do that one thing to make someone realize and respect the life of the pet in question enough to keep it from happening again. What I mean is these are living creatures that some ppm see as disposable and unimportant. I find that sad at the very least and I’m guessing u would too. It’s evident you care for these dogs and in no way disposable.
August 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
That is so annoying. I also hate it when people do that. But one thing I may suggest, you should sell the dogs as a pair and only give them to someone if they take both of them, if you split them up they could become really sad. “Not to judge”, though. Lol. Good luck with your move!
August 27th, 2009 at 9:06 am
[...] some strange site with pictures of me and the kids and the funniest, most well-written recap of an email that I’d received regarding finding the dogs a new home. And I went to church and listened patiently while she [...]