A Surprisingly Sane Blog

If you find yourself screaming at your kids more often than speaking to them in a normal voice, you’re probably doing something wrong.

I’m not usually one to judge other parenting styles- each to her/his own- however, it’s impossible not to roll my eyes when I see a particular parent constantly yelling at her children in public.

Let me back up and explain so you know where this is coming from.

Every day I used to see this mother with her little ones when I’d be dropping off  or picking Julie up at preschool.  She had twins and a whole slew of other kids, and she looked positively exasperated every single day.  Hell, I can’t blame her.  I’ve only got two monsters and some days I’m yanking hair out of my head while my eyes twitch.  I can’t imagine how anyone survives more than two kids, but then again, I’m kind of a pathetic human being with only so much patience who takes a daily dose of Prozac, so I’m probably just a total weeny.

However, while I’d be quietly disciplining my rambunctious child when she insisted on playing chicken with the cars in the parking lot and jumping down an entire flight of stairs (don’t send me a nasty email telling me what a shitty mom I am… that’s just a dose of good-old-fashioned “sarcasm” and not actual fact… and I only *wish* I didn’t have to explicitly say that), this particular parent would be constantly barking orders at her spawn.

I understand yelling at your kids.  Sometimes I do that.  Hell, I probably raise my voice at least once a day to warn my child to stop trying to pull the TV on herself or to stay away from the glass vodka bottles and cheap razor blades littering my floor.  You know, I yell to let my kids know that it’s not safe to skydive off of the balcony.  That sort of thing.

But seriously, is it really necessary to scream at your kids to get in the car when they’re already lined up like the Von Trapp family and obediently getting into their car seats one at a time, or to holler loud enough for the entire YMCA to scream “fire” just because you don’t like the look your child shot you?

I mean, hey, maybe it’s necessary.  Maybe your kids really are SO TERRIBLE that you simply MUST attempt to break their eardrums whenever you see them.  But honestly?  I doubt it.

And if you’re really so exasperated that you can’t handle all 25 of your children, there’s always birth control.  And adoption.

Speaking of which, JAMES… DOES YOUR NEW INSURANCE COVER VASECTOMIES, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO DO THE HONORS MYSELF?  Considering you have not been able to keep your hands off of me since I got here, your little soldiers are going to be a problem if you keep letting them loose.

Current Mood: Mischievous

Tags: Parenting

This entry was posted on Friday, September 11th, 2009 at 11:49 am and is filed under Sarcasm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.