Fish Back In Water

I always felt like a fish out of water growing up in Tucson.  I still remember the day we left Puyallup, Washington and the drive from the airport to our temporary apartment when we arrived in the desert.

I was five years old, and I still remember hoping that we weren’t going to stay long as I watched the dry landscape pass us by from the car.  When were we going back to Washington?

Someone please go back in time and tell that little girl it was going to be twenty-three years later and not to panic because someday, she would be going home.

I have nothing against Tucson, but it never felt like home to me.  I used to get this panicky feeling, like I was stuck in a place I had no desire to be.  My parents loved to make comments like, “It’s another day in paradise,” in the early morning as the day was beginning to heat up.  It never ceased to make me angry.  I hated the constant sunshine even as a child, and the lack of greenery made me long for the cooler temperatures and grass of my long-lost home.

I desperately wanted to go out of state for college.  The University of Washington was at the top of my list, but it was a far-fetched dream.  My parents had other plans, and I was too young and stupid and afraid of displeasing my mom and dad to fight their desires.  I ended up getting my degree at the University of Arizona, living with them for all but one semester my sophomore year during which they allowed me to experience dorm life.  I pretty much hated my college experience.  It was nothing like I had imagined it was going to be.

I’m not bitter or anything.  And I have a point, I swear.

Despite the difficulty I’ve had adjusting from being so far away from my family, I love being here.

I love the cool air, the trees, the grass, the water.  I don’t even mind the fact that it’s been sunny nearly every day since I moved.

This is the place I want to live the rest of my life.  Where I want my kids to grow up.  Where I’m doing my damnedest to convince my entire family to move.

I love it here.  Finally, I feel like I’m home again.  Yeah, so it’s twenty-three years later, but it’s never too late.

Current Mood:Happy emoticon Happy

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am and is filed under Make Me Smile. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

3 Responses to “Fish Back In Water”

  1. Mia Says:
    October 6th, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    I so want to move back. I’m beginning to think that I have Seasonal Affective disorder brought on by the heat. I have been in a much better mood since the weekend. It has cooled off by about 20 degrees here, and I love it.

  2. Kim Says:
    October 6th, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    I’m so glad you are happy!

    Have you heard the song Second Chance by ShineDown? The lyrics hit me hard today and after reading this post I think you could relate: http://www.mtv.com/videos/shinedown/333444/second-chance.jhtml

  3. Lady Coyote Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 5:29 am

    It was meant to be! Sort of like the saying, “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could”. You aren’t from the NW, but you got there as fast as you could.

    I think there are (not sure what to call it), “spiritual” reasons why we are meant to end up in certain places. I think of all the places I’ve lived, and it’s a little freaky sometimes, to think of who I met, or the “lessons” I was supposed to learn in a particular place.

    Your personal “Exodus” from the desert and your life now in the NW. I’m happy for you. Isn’t it great to like where you live, and to feel finally “home”? :)