I just dropped my dad off at the airport- he flew in for the weekend on his way back from a Malaysia/Singapore business trip- and my sister had to leave on Saturday.
A lack of house guests equals one heck of a big, lonely house, and it’ll be more than a month before I fly back out to Tucson to see my family again.
After a really great weekend, I’m clear-headed enough to know I need to take immediate action before falling backwards into that awful depression that keeps nipping at my heels. It’s an impossible cycle for me to break on my own.
Today I am going to look for a new therapist and a new psychiatrist and get appointments set up. I also need to get back into my normal exercise routine, so I’m going to find another YMCA or some sort of gym that has child watch. Tomorrow I’m DJing at one of the local West Coast Swing dances… and this weekend I’ve decided to head off to a WCS competition in Vancouver with a group of Seattle dancers.
That last chunk is a really huge step for me, but I know it’s one of those things that I really need to do for myself. I haven’t been to a convention since I had a complete mental breakdown at one over New Year’s week. (If you want to know what happened, you can read all about it here.) This time, I’ll be going to the dance competition with friends, and James is completely supportive of this decision. Really, this is a big step for us, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can keep a positive attitude the whole time. I am so terrified that I’ll start having anxiety attacks and lose it like I did so many months ago, but I just have to keep reminding myself that between the medication and the much better mental state that I’m in, I’ll be okay.
I wish I could say that sanity was a give for me, but it’s not. I suppose we all have our own crosses to bear. That just happens to be one of mine.
Lucky me.
Current Mood:
Confused
Mischievous