A Surprisingly Sane Blog

I never noticed until I moved here… but DAMMIT, something about the cool weather plus the humidity and lack of air conditioning has me sweating obscene amounts when I go dancing.  Even when the room is cold.  In Tucson, it’s hot as hell, so everyone sweats on the dance floor.  Here, yeah, I’m not so sure about that.

So last night I grooved on the dance floor to live blues at this fabulous bar downtown.  Seriously, it has the coolest atmosphere ever… and I’m not usually the kind of person who goes to a bar.  Just not my style.

BUT ANYWAY, so there I was, dancing with hardly a break in between songs, and I realized about an hour into it that my shirt was drenched in sweat.  I’d have been mortified except for the fact that I was wearing a top that didn’t show it.

This is the point at which I would like you to give my friend, Common Sense, a little round of applause.  Common Sense has made it possible for me to dress in clothing that doesn’t show massive sweat stains when I go dancing and has taught me to wear a bra with enough lining to keep my boobies safe from on-lookers.  Otherwise, I’d look like I’d entered a wet t-shirt contest and my nipples would be on display for the whole bar and Seattle dancers to see.  Nice.  Thank you, Common Sense.

Well, I’d been drinking wine on a fairly empty stomach, dancing like a mad hatter, and was sweating like I’d just stepped into a sauna, so the next friend that decided to visit me was Lack Of Self Control.

Lack Of Self Control had me shaking my ass and dancing very suggestively with all my guy friends.  Don’t worry, James is cool with it.  He gets a kick out of his wife when she’s a little tipsy on the dance floor.

“I like you when you drink,” was the comment I heard spoken by a mouth with a huge smile… oh, approximately 267 times last night from various dancers.

Then, then, my friend Diarrhea Of The Mouth decided to come party with me toward the end of the night.

I decided it would be a terrific idea to apologize to every guy I was dancing with for dripping sweat all over them.

Guys must like sweat.  A lot.  Would you like to hear the responses I got?

• No words, just a huge smile. (Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m still trying to decide.)
• “That’s okay, honey, we like when you sweat.”
• “Trust me, we don’t mind at all.”
• “Sweat means you’re working hard.  It’s a good thing.”

And my favorite winner of the night:

• “We like you sweaty.  It’s sexy.”

My response was to laugh because what on earth do I say to something like that?  Thank you, kind sir? I mean, come on, I was asking for it, thanks to my darling friend, Diarrhea Of The Mouth.

By the end of the night, my feet were a blistered mess, my mascara was caked under my eyes, the room was still spinning.  I downed a couple glasses of water before announcing that I was going to take a brisk walk along the waterfront, courtesy of my other friend, Lack Of Good Judgment, to help force my metabolism to get rid of the alcohol’s effects before jumping in the car and being a hazard to society.

And this is where I would like to extend a sincere Thank You to my other good friend (you know who you are), for insisting on joining me for my middle-of-the-night-I-drank-a-little-too-much-walk along the pier, freezing his ass off, and assuring me for like the twelfth time that night that guys really don’t mind when women sweat all over them on the dance floor.  Because, if you didn’t know, downtown Seattle really isn’t the safest place to be taking a casual stroll in the middle of the fucking night.  Thank You, Lack of Good Judgment.

And just for the record, I was completely sober when I got behind the wheel.  And James didn’t mind in the least when my freezing cold (and still sweating) ass cuddled up next to him in bed somewhere around 1:00 a.m.

So apparently, guys like when we sweat. Thank you, Common Sense, Lack Of Self Control, Diarrhea Of The Mouth, and Lack Of Good Judgement for joining me on last night’s little dancing adventure and making it possible for me to learn that.

And you, you lucky reader, can thank the Academy for letting its idiot run lose and blog about the ridiculous things that go on in her equally ridiculous, insignificant little life.

*Bows*

Thank you, thank you!

*Polite Applause*

Curtain closes.

………………………

Excuse me, I’m going to make another pot of coffee now.

Current Mood: Mischievous

Tags: Dance, Seattle

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 12:22 pm and is filed under Daily Ramble. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.