A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Three-year-old.  Yes.

I’m caught between an emotional mixture of absolutely delighted and utterly horrified right now.  Would you like to know why?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY 3-YEAR-OLD DID THIS MORNING?

Would you LIKE to know?   Because this is parent-of-the-fucking-year-award material.

She made me coffee.

All. By. Herself.

Julie: Mommy, get up now.  I made you coffee.

Me: (mumbling) Thanks sweetie.  I’ll be up in a minute.  I’m tired.

Julie ran down stairs, then I heard her little feet pitter-patter back into my room a few minutes later.

Julie: Mommy!  Your coffee is all ready!  Come drink it now!

Me: (yawning) Just a minute.  I’ll be right there.

This is the point at which I contemplated the risks of creating my own personal caffeine IV so I can get out of bed.  Would it even be legal?  And would one of the needles and supplies I purchase from some random dude downtown be clean enough to use after sterilizing it in boiling water?

I stumbled out of my warm, comfy, incredibly amazing bed and fumbled to put on a pair of polka-dot polar fleece pajama bottoms and a sweater before nearly tumbling down the stairs for the third time this month (don’t I sound really fucking clever with all those rhyming words?).  Note that I said “nearly”.  I didn’t actually fall this time, thank goodness.  I’m not sure how many more trips down the staircase my ass can handle before I actually break something.

Waiting for me in the kitchen was a pot of coffee, and I smiled to myself while thinking that I need to thank James for getting it started for me.

Julie insisted on helping me pour the coffee, and bounced around while I drank it.  And she played with my coffee container with the German alien scoop (no, for real), which was sitting on the counter.

Julie: Is it good coffee, Mommy?

Me: Yes, it tastes wonderful.

It really did.  And all I could think about was how I owe my husband a glimpse of me in my naughty school-girl Halloween costume again for making me that luscious pot of coffee.  THAT’S HOW IMPORTANT CAFFEINE IS TO ME.  I need a shirt that says “Will Fuck For Coffee”.

After I finished the entirety of liquid lifesaver, I went to clean out the filter and pot.

And that’s when I froze.

Because there were two filters in there, both filled with coffee.  One from yesterday, since I had been lazy and hadn’t ever cleaned the pot… and one from today.

And that’s when it dawned on me that it most likely wasn’t my husband who had made me the pot of coffee.  A quick conversation over Google Talk confirmed my suspicions.

Yes, that was two proud parents oogling over their brilliant 3-year-old, who proudly made mommy a pot of coffee all by her big self this morning.

I can just see it now.  While all the school parents are bragging about their honor students, I’m going to smugly chime in that my kid has not only been drinking coffee and eating chocolate for breakfast since she was two years old, but that she started making me coffee all by herself at the age of three.  The looks on their faces are going to be the sort that force me to gag myself with my blistered foot.

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is pure freaking genius.

I think I’m going to have to start getting up earlier from now on.  You know, before she tries to work the gas stove and begins scrambling eggs all by herself.

I’ll hide the coffee pot while I’m at it.  Because as adorable as I think it is that she actually made me coffee, I’m also just really damn relieved that she didn’t hurt herself while doing it.

That silly kid.

Current Mood: Playful & Surprised

1. I’m missing a link in my brain when it comes down to getting to bed at a decent time.  As a result, I’m freaking tired as hell most days.
2. I can’t organize clutter to save my life.  The crap in my cabinets is perfectly arranged in true OCD fashion, but dammit… I just can’t seem to do the same with the mess on the counter tops.
3. I suck at calculus.
4. I’ve got degrees in three different majors, but I’m not doing a damn thing with a single one of them.
5. I’m a sore loser.
6. I get bored quickly if there isn’t some sort of chaos or crazy shit happening in my life.
7. Why on earth do I have to take medication to stay stable?  It’s not fair.
8. I can’t stop chewing the skin around my nails off.
9. I obsess about stupid, pointless things that don’t make a damn difference.
10. I’m a morning person.  It’s disgusting.

Tell me… what annoys you about yourself?

Current Mood: Alarmed

I don’t find the sun obnoxious here.  While I still prefer the clouds and rain, I definitely appreciate the sunny times as well.

That’s really neat.  I’ve never liked sunny days before in my life.

Seattle has definitely changed me a bit.  In a good way.

Current Mood: Happy