Horrible, Awful, and Embarrassing as Hell
I can’t believe I’m admitting this. It’s just so embarrassing.
*deep breath*
Here it goes:
I’m a bad driver.
Like, a really bad driver. Like, so bad that one of my friends insists on driving almost half hour out of his way to pick me up when it’s raining because he thinks I’m a hazard to society and he doesn’t want Seattle to lose one of its recently acquired advanced dancers.
*Hanging my head in shame*
My Arizona license plate has been working as the perfect excuse… however, that’s not going to last must longer. People from Arizona are among the worst drivers I have ever seen. Red light runners, the shitty slow bastards in the left lane, aggressive assholes that’ll run you over without looking back, and just flat-out stupidity curse every road in Tucson. If it was a rarity, well, it’d just be annoying, but it’s not. That’s the norm there. So it’s just… well, scary reality.
In Tucson, I was among the elite drivers- the ones who knew how to check their blind spot before changing lanes. The person who used their turn signal. You know, the one who obeyed the rules of the road, knew every street in town, and managed to drive for over a decade without ever so much as a speeding ticket.
And then I moved to Seattle, where the majority of the drivers make Arizona drivers look like special ed crack-whores ten times worse than I thought possible. Which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t make me look like such a crappy driver.
When I say “crappy”, I mean I’m the moron driving on the wrong side of the street with an open beer screaming, “Hey ya’ll! I’m from them thar place called Tucson,” out the window. I am that driver.
The one who misses every damn exit on her way to a new place. The idiot who’s driving the white line because the rain is too thick to see where one lane begins and the next one ends. The one that screams every time she has to drive up a freaking steep hill and can’t find parking downtown to save her life. The one that doesn’t even know how to use a fucking pay meter. The one that RAN A RED LIGHT by accident last night. The driver that calls local friends half-crying, “Okay… so I’m lost… HELP ME!… what do you mean what streets am I near? I don’t freaking know! I’m lost!“. You know, THAT DAMN DRIVER.
I am so embarrassed to admit it, but I can’t just go on pretending I’m an amazing driver with an incredible sense of direction anymore.
Seattle, I am so, so sorry. Tucson is missing one of its idiot drivers, and you happened to be the unlucky city that got stuck with her.
At least I can parallel park like no one’s business, right? Does that at least sort of make up for the fact that I’M A SHITTY DRIVER?
Current Mood:
Alarmed
November 10th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
LMAO! Cut yourself a little slack. We’re still new here…
I’m just thanking my lucky stars Seattle has decent public transportation. Otherwise I’d be a hazard on the road on the way to and from work.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
LOL, I didn’t have any problems up there
Although the hills may make me change my mind about going back to an automatic.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
If it’s any consolation you will never be as bad as a Texas driver- It was a terrifying experience. I was actually in the backseat screaming half the time.
November 10th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
LOL I couldn’t parallel park to save my life! FTR I agree with Kathryn, you aren’t as bad as a Texas driver. NONE of them can drive.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
You need a Tom Tom or a Nuvi. My opinion – GPS makes better drivers… given said driver programs said GPS before starting the car and does not futz with it while driving.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I had 5-6ish wrecks by the time I was 19, including totaling my first car. I also have 2 huge speeding tickets on my record, one in a school zone and one in a construction zone. Not to mention all the times I’ve been let go with just a warning. Luckly, nothing too bad in the past few years. I think my last incident was driving into a set of stairs leading up to a store when I was pregnant with Adam. But we’re still waiting on some of that to fall off my record so our insurance won’t be so high. You’re not alone!
November 10th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
And I also cannot parallel park for anything! That does make up, even if only a tiny bit, for being a shitty driver! Good for you!
November 11th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
You are not a bad driver – you’re just living in a city for the first time and don’t know your way around yet. I agree – GPS may be the key. Also, you’ve never driven in Boston – you have no idea what that’s like.
November 17th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Dude. GPS. GPS all the way.
I became a much safer, saner driver with GPS. I road tripped to California 8 times in a year because of the confidence I gained with GPS.
I can pull over for gas, or take a wrong turn, or find a new restaurant without any anxiety because of GPS. I can randomly take streets in a new city, and get all turned around on curvy roads, and plan out five stops on a single trip (and not get flustered if I have to skip one) because of GPS.
Now, it’s not gonna help you with driving in the rain or running red lights… but if you have to go two streets over to find parking, you won’t be nearly as lost when you try to find your way out.