November 16, 2009

Living in a very liberal city has been a bit of an eye-opener for me.  Some situations I never thought I could possibly understand in any way, shape, or form are more common than I thought.  The world is turning out to be even more gray than black and white than I originally thought.

Okay… so “cheating” has a multitude of different definitions depending on your moral, religious, and personal beliefs.  For this poll’s purposes, we’re going to say that “cheating” means you have been with another person sexually in some way behind closed doors.  That could mean anything from intercourse (ugh, that word makes me cringe… it sounds so… I don’t know… impersonal for such a beautiful act) to just passionate kissing.

And as always, I promise the results are completely anonymous, even to me, so you can be honest.  You can choose up to two answers, and don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me.  It’s not my place to judge.

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Current Mood: Playful

Stupidest.  Conversation.  Ever.

Setting: Out to dinner with two people my husband happens to be related to.  Names have been changed to protect their identities.

Stupid: You know, I wish I still had my British accent.  It’s “in” now.

I’m With Stupid:  (nodding knowingly) Oh, yes, it’s a very “in” accent to have.

Me: I didn’t realize there was a such thing as an “in” accent.

April: Ahhhhhh!

Julie: (yelling) Be quiet April!

Stupid:  Well, British accents sound intelligent.

I’m With Stupid: (sipping tea) Oh yes, they certainly do.  I hear an American accent and I think… Oh, they’re just dumb, but then I hear an English accent and I think… wow, they sound so smart!

Stupid: (Snobbily... er… is that even a word?  Ugh.  Whatever…. Snobbily)  Yes. That’s why I preferred my British accent.

I’m With Stupid: So… why do you think that is? I mean, that English people sound so much more intelligent?

Julie: (yelling)  I have to go potty mommy!

Me: (eyeroll)

James: (noticing this conversation isn’t going anywhere nice and that his wife is going to start chucking the chewy pieces of chicken gristle hidden in her napkin at his relatives)  Well, I think a lot of people from around the world confuse the “American accent” with a southern accent… and, unfortunately, a lot of the time people seem to associate that with those who work extremely hard but don’t have as much education as others.  Perhaps that’s part of where that sort of idea comes from.  It’s sad.

April: (throwing Malaysian food all over everything within a 5-foot radius and spitting raspberries) Ma-Ma!

Julie: I WANT MORE CHICKEN!

Conversation escalates from there.  The Stupids discuss why those with a Southern accent sound stupider than those without one.  The kids continue to fuss.

Me: (changing the subject)  Speaking of which, a friend of ours from Canada told me I have a “Southern Bell” accent last week, which I thought was hilarious because I don’t.

Julie: I HAVE TO GO POTTY!  NO APRIL!  STOP THROWING THINGS!

I’m With Stupid: (shaking her head) No, you don’t have one.

Stupid: (knowingly) Well.  It depends on where they’re from.  If they’re from Calgary, you sound like you’re from Texas.

I’m With Stupid:  (nodding) See, that’s what I’m saying.  An English person just sounds so much more intelligent than someone from Texas.

Me:  Um, or maybe they just sound more intelligent to you.  Maybe to some of the people over there a few of our different accents sound more intelligent.

Stupid and I’m With Stupid both laugh in my general direction.

Stupid: (snorting) Um, no, trust me.  They don’t.  I used to live in a country owned by the British.

Julie: AHHHH!

Me: Alright, it’s time for me to take Julie to the bathroom.

………………..

Hmmmm… anyone else feeling extraordinarily annoyed and pissed off by Stupid and I’m With Stupid?

Ignorance is the poison in this world.

Current Mood: Angry