Stupidity
Stupidest. Conversation. Ever.
Setting: Out to dinner with two people my husband happens to be related to. Names have been changed to protect their identities.
Stupid: You know, I wish I still had my British accent. It’s “in” now.
I’m With Stupid: (nodding knowingly) Oh, yes, it’s a very “in” accent to have.
Me: I didn’t realize there was a such thing as an “in” accent.
April: Ahhhhhh!
Julie: (yelling) Be quiet April!
Stupid: Well, British accents sound intelligent.
I’m With Stupid: (sipping tea) Oh yes, they certainly do. I hear an American accent and I think… Oh, they’re just dumb, but then I hear an English accent and I think… wow, they sound so smart!
Stupid: (Snobbily... er… is that even a word? Ugh. Whatever…. Snobbily) Yes. That’s why I preferred my British accent.
I’m With Stupid: So… why do you think that is? I mean, that English people sound so much more intelligent?
Julie: (yelling) I have to go potty mommy!
Me: (eyeroll)
James: (noticing this conversation isn’t going anywhere nice and that his wife is going to start chucking the chewy pieces of chicken gristle hidden in her napkin at his relatives) Well, I think a lot of people from around the world confuse the “American accent” with a southern accent… and, unfortunately, a lot of the time people seem to associate that with those who work extremely hard but don’t have as much education as others. Perhaps that’s part of where that sort of idea comes from. It’s sad.
April: (throwing Malaysian food all over everything within a 5-foot radius and spitting raspberries) Ma-Ma!
Julie: I WANT MORE CHICKEN!
Conversation escalates from there. The Stupids discuss why those with a Southern accent sound stupider than those without one. The kids continue to fuss.
Me: (changing the subject) Speaking of which, a friend of ours from Canada told me I have a “Southern Bell” accent last week, which I thought was hilarious because I don’t.
Julie: I HAVE TO GO POTTY! NO APRIL! STOP THROWING THINGS!
I’m With Stupid: (shaking her head) No, you don’t have one.
Stupid: (knowingly) Well. It depends on where they’re from. If they’re from Calgary, you sound like you’re from Texas.
I’m With Stupid: (nodding) See, that’s what I’m saying. An English person just sounds so much more intelligent than someone from Texas.
Me: Um, or maybe they just sound more intelligent to you. Maybe to some of the people over there a few of our different accents sound more intelligent.
Stupid and I’m With Stupid both laugh in my general direction.
Stupid: (snorting) Um, no, trust me. They don’t. I used to live in a country owned by the British.
Julie: AHHHH!
Me: Alright, it’s time for me to take Julie to the bathroom.
………………..
Hmmmm… anyone else feeling extraordinarily annoyed and pissed off by Stupid and I’m With Stupid?
Ignorance is the poison in this world.
Current Mood:
Angry
Tags: Conversation
November 16th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Lol, I probably would have said to Stupid (totally serious), “Yeah, it sucks you lost your ‘British accent’ because now you sound like a total moron like the rest of us dumb Americans.”
November 16th, 2009 at 9:55 am
It’s amazing how people still relate southern to stupidity (them both starts wit a ‘ess’, that thems gotta mean somtin’). I have some very intelligent southern friends with very thick southern accents. I somehow never picked it up being from Tennessee, but it comes out at times.
Gotta love stereotypes.
November 16th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I can’t stand people like that! My mom went to New York on her honeymoon and she visited my stepdads family. They tried to tell her that everyone in Arkansas are back wood uneducated rednecks. She pretty much told them to kiss her southern ass. You can tell Stupid and I’m With Stupid the same thing for me.
November 16th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Yeah… the stereotypes make me want to drive people off the I-90 here instead of just over it.
November 16th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Funny how the pseudo-former Brits weren’t smart enough to pick up on your oh-so-obvious irritation and sarcasm….fuck tards.
December 10th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Some southern accents are charming and some of the more rural accents really do hurt my ears and I can barely understand them. It’s the bad grammar that makes people sound unintelligent, not just the accent which varies trememdously.
We’re used to hearing English accents that are rather appealing to our ears and sound very “proper”. However, there are many English accents that sound like mumbling that I can barely understand and don’t sound intelligent, but the opposite.