In light of the fact that someone seemed to mistake me for a prostitute on the dance floor last night, here’s my latest poll.
For the sake of simplicity, we’ll count sexual partners as people we have actually had intercourse with, or the equivalent with a same-sex partner.
Loading ...Votes are anonymous, and you’re not gonna get any judgement from me if you happen to tell me how many people you’ve been with.
Current Mood:
Mischievous
Last night I went to a “shady” blues bar to go dancing and was having a great time until… well, some smokin’ hot guy breathed into my ear, “So is your husband in town?”.
I have never had someone be so forward with me like that before, and it really caught me off guard.
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. Such is the culture of blues dancing, I guess. I’m just used to the west coast swing world, where one can have an incredibly intimate, sexy dance, then walk off the floor leaving all that behind. But then again, I’ve never been the kind of person to frequent bars, so maybe that’s just how things are on the “club scene”.
Sometimes, I feel so sheltered and innocent. Yes, me. Mrs. married-with-two-kids-and-a-piercing-on-my-cha-cha. I never had the “typical” college party experience. You know, the kind where I was supposed to live on my own for the first time, sneak into over-21-parties, skip class due to the hangover from hell, sleep with a random guy or five.
Not that any of that is glamorous in the least. But the fact is, I used to watch other students at the university and wish I could be in their shoes for at least a day. Just to see what it was like. Did they get more out of the experience than I did? Probably not. Maybe they just walked away feeling empty while I sauntered off with an engagement ring and academic awards. The funny thing is, I’m sure most of those people stepped into a successful life not necessarily all that different from my own once they got past their “typical” college experience.
I lived at home until my wedding day, with the exception of a 1-semester “dorm life” experience my sophomore year and a summer in Germany for a study-abroad program. I never slept around, didn’t really party, and worked my ass off to do well in school. That was all in addition to working full-time as a ballroom dance instructor and being completely committed to my college sweetheart, a.k.a. my husband. I got married nearly a year after I graduated and went back for more school the semester after earning my degree.
In a way, it was the best life one could ask for. However, in some ways it was a rather unhealthy college experience. I missed out on so much, particularly learning independence, so when I’m hit with situations like what happened last night, I find it really quite shocking.
You hear about that kind of shit happening all the time, see it on TV, etc., but when it actually happens to you for the first time, it kind of throws you for a loop.
I didn’t want to be an asshole, so after I gasped a dumb, “Wait… what?” and he repeated the question, I sort of laughed and said my husband was definitely in town and I casually dropped a line about having two kids as well. His response was smooth. He’d done that sort of thing before, I figured.
“Aw, darn, well I had to ask at least.”
Seriously? Holy cow. How are you supposed to handle that sort of thing? Did I deal with it right? There was no “How to respond to one-night-stand-propositions 101″ course back in college, and I missed the social part of young adulthood that learned out to gracefully handle that kind of shit. Or maybe that isn’t as common as it seems and the movies lie. Maybe there really isn’t a way to handle that gracefully.
And as for the idea of casual sex, I just couldn’t do it. I have nothing against those who can, but I just can’t. I’ve always been a goody-goody in that department.
Have you ever been asked that sort of thing, and what was your response?
Current Mood:
Alarmed