So, on the subject of sex…
Thursday, January 14th, 2010I like to crack a lot of jokes about sex and pretend it’s some kind of very simple thing in my life, but I’m a liar if I say that’s how I really feel.
Sex is an ongoing issue. Sure, I like it. Yes, I pierced my cha-cha. Of course I’ve had some incredible moments in the bedroom. However, sex is not without a ton of baggage for me, and I struggle on a regular basis to accept it as a positive part of my life.
Frequently, I go through periods where I just can’t handle it. The mere thought of intimacy sends me into a panic, and the act of sex leaves me feeling like… well, a dirty, disgusting whore. Sometimes the thoughts that pierce my head during sex leave me feeling ashamed and guilty, even when I know that the abuse I experienced once upon a shitty-ass time is the reason for them.
Five years of marriage later, a close friend of mine has convinced me to go see a sex therapist to help me conquer these issues. Yes, a sex therapist. Earlier this week I had a doctor’s appointment, during which I asked for a good reference to help with all these issues. Have you ever asked for a good sex therapist reference? Holy cow, that’s a tough one to admit you need to talk to! I’m sure I turned purple when the words tumbled out of my mouth.
And lucky you, I’m sure you’ll be hearing all kinds of interesting updates in the future. Aren’t you excited?
Current Mood:
Alarmed
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Playful