So, on the subject of sex…
I like to crack a lot of jokes about sex and pretend it’s some kind of very simple thing in my life, but I’m a liar if I say that’s how I really feel.
Sex is an ongoing issue. Sure, I like it. Yes, I pierced my cha-cha. Of course I’ve had some incredible moments in the bedroom. However, sex is not without a ton of baggage for me, and I struggle on a regular basis to accept it as a positive part of my life.
Frequently, I go through periods where I just can’t handle it. The mere thought of intimacy sends me into a panic, and the act of sex leaves me feeling like… well, a dirty, disgusting whore. Sometimes the thoughts that pierce my head during sex leave me feeling ashamed and guilty, even when I know that the abuse I experienced once upon a shitty-ass time is the reason for them.
Five years of marriage later, a close friend of mine has convinced me to go see a sex therapist to help me conquer these issues. Yes, a sex therapist. Earlier this week I had a doctor’s appointment, during which I asked for a good reference to help with all these issues. Have you ever asked for a good sex therapist reference? Holy cow, that’s a tough one to admit you need to talk to! I’m sure I turned purple when the words tumbled out of my mouth.
And lucky you, I’m sure you’ll be hearing all kinds of interesting updates in the future. Aren’t you excited?
Current Mood:
Alarmed
Tags: Sex
January 14th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I have very serious sexual issues, but haven’t seen anyone about them, maybe I should. The fact that you are is a good thing. Admitting there’s a problem is always the first step to solving it
January 14th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Aw Mia… I didn’t realize, and it sucks you struggle as well. I have a really awesome therapist near where you live who would probably have a good reference. Let me know if you want her number.
January 14th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Yes, you’re not alone. For me it’s a very difficult subject as well. I always feel like all I’m wanted for by a man is sex. I have a really hard time accepting it. My ex-husband of 13 years used to force me to have sex, even when it was not wanted. It made me feel like a dog…
January 14th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
For me, and most of my serious relationships, the hard part has been that my day being good or bad does not rely on sex. Yes, I enjoy it, but I end up thinking of it as more of a recreational activity than the pinnacle of my day. My mood (read: horniness) can be shifted very easily by the good/bad events in my day. If I don’t get laid, it is not necessary to masturbate, and I would never get mad at my partner for not being in the mood.
At any rate, I am an almost 30 female, and now that we’re on the subject, I’m wondering if I’m the only one that feels this way. My husband still has the libido of a 17 year old. We can have sex, and he still might end up with a sock on his cock!
January 15th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
I agree with you Mia. I feel so bad because my husband always seems turned on by me but feels he does not do the same. It’s nothing against him personally, I could just really care less about the whole act itself. I got so used to not doing it for my own pleasure that it really does not make a difference to me..
January 16th, 2010 at 6:26 am
I was not quite forced into it, but if I didn’t want to, even at that time of the month, I was made to feel horrible, and a fight would inevitably happen. Luckily I was only in the situation for 2 years. I just wish I had left sooner. Sometimes it sucks to be young
January 17th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
You go girl!! Looking forward to hearing all the juicy details! (I’m glad you spill your guts to all of us!)
- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
January 20th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Actually, yes, I am “excited” (heheh, not like THAT)…since I’ve been thinking I need to do the same thing, get a reference for a sex therapist. Please let me know if it helps!!!