I really suck at setting boundaries with people.
When I was working, it was always, “Tamra… I know your plate is full, but I need someone to [insert task that's gonna take 20 people to finish in one day here]…”. This was always followed by a, “But of course! I’d love to add something impossible to my already-obscene-list-of-shit that needs to be done.” Service with a smile. I never knew when to say it was too much.
I’ve gotten better about saying no when someone asks me to do something and I really can’t add one more thing to my day, however I find that emotionally, I still suck ass at drawing a line. Even if something is damaging for me, I let the emotional drainage continue because I don’t know how to tell the other person they’ve crossed the line. Or I say something about it, but they don’t get that I’m teetering on the edge of some mental cliff, and they push the ‘heavy winds’ button that knocks me over the side into that dark abyss.
A doormat. That’s what I’ve always been.
I will hold your hand, give you absolutely everything I can until I have nothing left, and just keep on giving until it kills me. And stupidly, I have a tendency to surround myself with people who know just how to take advantage of this very weakness.
Today, I am mad at myself. Angry with the fact that I can’t seem to draw lines and boundaries where they belong, and furious that I let stupid shit get to me.
I have a long way to go on my checklist of mental health necessities.
Current Mood:
Angry & 
Sad
Happy
Esctatic