A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Special thanks to my friend over at Nobody’s Nothings for today’s blog post idea. And also to my cyber-friend, C, for posting something similar a couple weeks ago on her blog, A Day In The Life Of A Crazy Nursing Student.

My list of things that I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT DO this week:

I did not…

…wake up screaming this morning because I had a nightmare. Nope, not me!

…have a mental crash that left me feeling paranoid and angry for the majority of the week. Nope, not me!

…get totally pissed at my husband for going to a birthday party/dancing last night because I was totally sure he was doing it to avoid his crazy wife, even though it’s something he’s been planning all week. Nope, not me!

…suddenly, in the midst of all my insanity, think that getting pregnant again might be the best way to deal with my birth control stresses. Nope, not me!

…avoid baking any goodies whatsoever because I knew I lacked the self-control necessary to keep from devouring all of the dough before it made it into the oven. Nope, not me!

…drank too much on Monday night and almost drove before I’d sobered up (ducking the glares and beatings from smart people). Nope, not me!

…drive the next morning doped up on Novocaine and almost fall asleep at the wheel on the freeway twice. Nope, not me!

…try to convince my husband that I’m totally worth buying this ring (that we don’t have money for) with an obscenely huge diamond and tons of sparkles for Valentine’s Day. Nope, not me!

…space out while grooming my pubes in the shower, only to look down and realize most of ‘em were gone on one side… then totally fuck up the other side while trying to even it out. Nope, not me!

…end up shaving the whole thing right off, look in the mirror, and freak out when I realized I had a completely bald pussy when I’m the kind of girl who prefers it natural over hairless. Nope, not me!

…cry myself to sleep in my husband’s arms a couple nights ago. Nope, not me!

…spend the majority of the week lounging around in my pajamas. Nope, not me!

…highly consider driving my car off a bridge last night while taking a little sanity break from the kids at 8:00 p.m. Nope, not me!

…lock myself into the bathroom to finish typing out this blog entry… only to hear my kid scream on the top of her lungs because she plunged face-first into the kitchen floor from the barstool-height chair. Nope, not me!

…

I am so glad it’s Friday. This week has been hell, and I’m ready for it to be over.

Current Mood: Alarmed

This entry was posted on Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 11:15 am and is filed under Confessions, Insanity, Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.