A Surprisingly Sane Blog

By popular request, we’re gonna talk about hitting the big O today. And I’m gonna share yet again WAY TOO MUCH INFO with you all because brutal honesty on taboo topics (like my penis size blog last week) seems to make for the best discussions on here.

First, the poll:

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And now the other questions: What does it take for you to orgasm? A number of women said last week that they can’t or usually don’t orgasm during the act of sex itself… can you? If so, does it only work in certain positions? Do you need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, or can you hit the big O even without it?

Okay… so now for my answers. You ready for ‘em? *blushing*

Orgasming for me has never been difficult until I had to start taking antidepressants. And actually, it wasn’t until I was at the highest dose that I needed to take that I really noticed them affecting me in that way. Since then my dosage has been decreased by a whopping 5 mg, which isn’t a lot but still very much affects me in the bedroom in a good way, thank goodness. I can orgasm during sex, oral, masturbation, whatever, without too much of a hitch. HOWEVER, there’s a major caveat to this: I can rarely orgasm unless I’ve had nipple stimulation as well.

Yes, weird, I know. For some people it’s the clit, but my hot buttons are my nipples. For real. I have orgasmed off of nipple stimulation alone. Add just a little of that to sex, and I melt in a matter of seconds.

Without the nipple stimulation, I can sometimes orgasm, but I either need to be: A) just really freaking horny at the time; or B) I need to have a lot a lot of imagination happening to get me there in addition to direct clitoral stimulation. What kind of imagination, you ask? Seriously, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about that. I’ve got some fucked up abuse in my history, and I’m rather ashamed about some of the things that I find a turn-on. Don’t worry, I’m sure one of these days I’ll go there… but I need to talk to a sex therapist first.

As for sex positions, although I’m a big fan of doggie-style, I can only orgasm that way if I’ve got the help of a vibrator. The best positions for me to hit the O are either being on top or having my hubby on top. Again, that direct clitoral stimulation is a must.

Okay, I just completely opened up about one of the most taboo topics I can think of… now it’s your turn! Don’t be shy! And if you’re a guy, by all means… you’re welcome to chime in as well.

Current Mood: Playful

Last night I went dancing with James, and by the end of the night I realized I was actually enjoying myself for the first time in, oh, a month or so.

When I crashed and burned a few weeks ago, I was honestly pretty scared. I hadn’t felt that out of control since before I started therapy a year ago. I didn’t feel scared until James looked at me last week, gave me a big hug, and said, “Honey, I’m so glad you’re back. I missed you.” That was only about 24 hours after I started back on the higher dose.

When I heard that, I realized that I’d been under that fog again, just a shadow of who I really am. It never ceases to amaze me how my head clears when I am taking the right amount of medication.

This week has been a bit of a recovery week, and I’ve really been trying to add things to my life that will help this process. I’m making sure I’m getting enough protein- something I’m notorious for leaving out of my diet because I’m not a huge fan of meat. I’ve been getting up early and trying to go to bed at a better time, and I’ve been exercising at the gym every day of the week. It’s all helping a lot.

Today, my body feels like it got hit by a car. You know, that after-hard-workout burn that forces you to fall over and gasp when you attempt to walk up the stairs or lift your arms to wash your hair in the shower. The fatigued muscles feel good, and it’s a reminder to myself why I’m choosing to do it.

Depression and mental illness hurts everyone just as much as it hurts me. Fighting it means I haven’t lost that battle no matter how hard it tries to win.

Current Mood: Cool