Antidepressants and a Sad Realization
I just had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist in Tucson.
Last week I sorta’ realized that the up-and-down mental health roller coaster I’ve been riding is not only a crappy thing for me, but for my husband, kids, and friends as well. And my blog readers. Can’t forget you all. *sending cyber hugs your way*
So anyway, I told her about what’s been happening ever since I last saw her- the breakdowns, the constant battle with trying to stay on that lower Prozac dosage but always losing the fight, and my general sense of “shit, I’m being crushed by a fucking tidal wave and I don’t know if I’m ever gonna resurface“. All of that in addition to the constant fatigue and fight with my anti-depressant-induced lack of sex drive. This has been going on since the beginning of December, and I just can’t deal with the instability anymore.
I kind of wanted to cry when I told her I know I need to go back on my old dose, which was the highest one I’ve taken. It’s only 10mg more than what I’ve been trying to take, but it makes a huge difference. The bad thing is that it really affects my sex drive and fatigue problems. Like, mentally I do much, much better, but I suffer some physically.
So then she gave me the option that I had a couple months ago: Go back to the higher Prozac dosage, but try adding a small dose of a second antidepressant to enhance my overall energy level, motivation, and sex drive.
I didn’t like that option a few months ago, and I went with the the lower Prozac dosage instead despite the fact that my doctor recommended I try this particular path. While my sex drive has increased, my overall well-being has deteriorated. And honestly, while I love a good fuck on a particular horny day, my mental stability is just one of those things that can’t be sacrificed.
So back on the old dose it is, except this time I’m taking my psychiatrist’s advice and adding a small dose of Wellbutrin to my daily happy pill ingestion. I’d prefer not to feel asexual again, so I figure it’s worth a try. She assured me she feels I’ll be very pleased with the results, and if not, it’ll be easy enough to back off of the Wellbutrin.
I told her I am very sad that I can’t just be normal, to which she replied, “What’s normal?”.
Good question.
Current Mood:
Sad
Kim said,
February 8, 2010 @ 3:37 pm
Hugs! I hope the new medication works out for you. I use to always want normal. Normal is synonymous with perfect – nobody’s normal and nobody’s perfect. I had to recently change my vocabulary to use the words healthy and unhealthy. I know healthy is obtainable
Kristen said,
February 8, 2010 @ 4:30 pm
I’ve heard so many say that Wellbutrin definitely brings back your sex drive. I hope it does the same to you. We definitely want you happy and healthy – but I’d hold off on the normal. It’s the “normal” people who are the weird ones anyway!!! Cyber hugs back at ya!
Nobody said,
February 8, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
good luck! i hope it brings a positive change to you. don’t worry about being normal… “normal” is only a matter of perception.
Merrilee said,
February 8, 2010 @ 5:28 pm
I had the same problems with Prozac. We played with dosages, but I ended up MUCH happier (in and out of bed) when on only Welbutrin. Good luck!
Rikki said,
February 8, 2010 @ 5:44 pm
I hope this works for you Tamra! I will keep you in my prayers.
LaRaeven said,
February 8, 2010 @ 6:02 pm
Welcome to the Wellbutrin family. If you are taking the once a day and it doesn’t improve your overall you can get it in a lower faster absorbing pill that you take twice a day. I find that the lower faster keeps me more even than the once a day. It does have a pick me up so if you find you can’t sleep try taking it earlier in the day. Good Luck to you hun .. I am cheering you on from Florida.
Rosanne said,
February 8, 2010 @ 6:54 pm
Normal isn’t a concept I have too much time for. I prefer to be a happy, healthy and wealthy me – whatever that may be.
adayinthelife said,
February 9, 2010 @ 6:27 am
I have heard MANY good things about Wellbutrin. We healthcare people like to call it the “skinny happy horny” drug. Good luck with it, and keep us posted on how it’s working for you!
Kimberly said,
February 9, 2010 @ 8:19 am
I take 4 different medications cause I’m that crazy. I take Cymbalta, Trazodone, Remeron, and Ativan. What’s my point…I don’t know…kidding. Just know that trying new combinations of medications can be a good thing. I know it’s scary and I know that it sucks taking them, but if it’s going to make you feel better than why the hell not. It’s worth a try right?
Sending you much luck!!!
Mia said,
February 9, 2010 @ 8:19 am
I knew a girl on Wellbutrin, her sexual problems weren’t hers, but her husband’s. He wouldn’t have sex with her! She was going nuts. I’m shocked, but 6 years later, they’re still married. I’ve heard good things about it. Hope it works for you!
Jackie said,
February 9, 2010 @ 6:20 pm
Anything to help you girl ;0). KUP.