A Surprisingly Sane Blog

My personal trainer really is Will Ferrell.

Me: (gasping for breath during this obscene exercise that included touching my knee to my nose while balancing on a wobbly-half-ball-thing) You want me to do HOW many of these things?

Will Ferrell: Twelve on each side.

Me: Ha ha, you’re funny.

Will Ferrell: Well maybe that’s why everyone tells me I look like Will Ferrell.

Me: (falling of the ball-thing onto the mat and gasping out a wheezing laugh) Well, um, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but…

Will Ferrell: (puts head in hands) Oh no.

Me: (snickering) Last week I went home and told my husband, “Dude, I just got my ass kicked by Will Ferrell.”

Will Ferrell: (eyeroll) Gee, thanks. Now here’s your next exercise.

Five minutes later, I was in a very compromising position that somewhat resembled Downward Dog from yoga, but was way worse.

Me: (While blood is rushing to my face and my head is nearly exploding) Wonderful. Now the entire gym is getting a great view of my ass. Thanks a lot.

Will Ferrell: (laughs) Why do you think men willingly do yoga classes?

Me: Oh my gawd, do I have an audience?

Will Ferrell: Uh…

Me: Don’t answer that. (collapsing out of that horrific exercise pose and looking behind me) Ugh, that felt AWFUL!

Will Ferrell: (laughing) Alright, you’re done for today.

Me: (snottily) I guess now would be a great time to tell you that I wrote a blog entry about how much you resemble Will Ferrell last week.

Will Ferrell: Oh no.

Me: Oh yes. And remember, I wasn’t the one who said it. I wasn’t going to mention it. You were the one who brought it up, and I merely confirmed your suspicions.

Will Ferrell: (laughing) Okay, you got me on that one.

A few minutes later he was writing out my homework.

Me: So, I actually asked for a female trainer, and I got you. Which is probably good because I have quite the mouth on me and you seem to deal with it just fine.

Will Ferrell: Yeah, I find I usually get the, uh, more difficult clients.

Me: Wait, what?

Will Ferrell: Well, I mean the ones that are more difficult because they either have zero body awareness or much better body awareness than average. Usually I work with people who are on one of the more extreme ends.

Me: Uh huh, sure. And I take it I’m one of those extremes. Are you saying I have good body awareness, or crappy awareness?

Will Ferrell: Well, because of your dance background, you definitely have much stronger body awareness than most people who first start personal training.

Me: Okay, so the “difficult” part of that equation is finding a trainer who can put up with the shit that comes flying out of my mouth.

Will Ferrell: (Laughing) Well, the supervisors definitely try to match people up with personalities they’ll get along with.

Me: And I ended up with Will Ferrell. Wow. I must have really scared the supervisors.

Will Ferrell: (Smiling an evil grin) Wednesday we’re working arms.

Me: Great. I can’t wait.

Current Mood: Happy

Tags: Conversation, exercise

This entry was posted on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 2:09 pm and is filed under Conversations, Sarcasm, exercise. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.