Passive-Aggressive- Function: adj
: being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized byexpression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in anunassertive way (as through procrastination, stubborn-ness, and unwillingness to communicate) passive-aggressive personality>
Manipulation- Function: vb
: to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or deviously
I downright hate when I see passive aggressive manipulation and behavior. People who play silence games to avoid conflict make me sick. Individuals who exude pretend innocent behavior to try to sway other people to “side” with them are disgusting. Family and friends who hurt themselves to force you to do what they want or behave a certain way are flat-out sick and wrong. Boyfriends who whine and cry and throw a fit to guilt you into doing something they want you to do for their own benefit should be shot. Creeps who go around talking as much shit (usually false or exaggerated) about you to everyone who will listen while keeping a sweet “I’m such a good person” smile on their face in order to make themselves look like the all-hailing king/queen eventually kick themselves in the ass.
I am prone to attracting passive aggressive, manipulative people. Too many of those sorts start out as being such nice people, and I’m a sucker for nice people. They’ll do you favors, help you up when you fall, buy you a drink when you forget your wallet, and be an ear (maybe a little too interested) when you need it. At first, they seem like the greatest friends you can make, but then, little things start popping up. They get “hurt” easily, fake it so you’ll pat them on the back and apologize. They’ll get pouty if something happens that they don’t like so that you’ll feel bad and agree that maybe you shouldn’t have dealt with something a particular way or agreed with someone who said something that didn’t paint them in the best light. Eventually, you realize that you’re spending most of your time with this person trying to please them. They’re the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
It’s a sick process because said person is unwilling and frequently incapable of recognizing that they’re being passive-aggressive and manipulative. It’s not completely their fault. Usually, they’re emotionally ill. They’ve learned to deal with the world that way due to something that happened frequently in childhood- bullying, not getting the attention from their parents that they needed, etc. However, unlike something like Bipolar Disorder, it’s not a chemical imbalance that (usually) needs drugs to keep the neurons firing correctly. However, COUNSELING is a whole other story. Until they can understand and accept the fact that they are passive aggressive and manipulative, see how they are damaging others and themselves with their toxic behavior, and decide that they don’t want to use that sort of communication anymore, they will never get past their nasty habits, and they probably will never find a way to be truly happy. They might think that manipulating people makes them happy, but it doesn’t… and that’s why they frequently seem so unhappy with others and perhaps their own lives. Sadly, I’ve seen one of these sorts actually manipulate counselors before to the point they’re told they don’t need counseling, and this was one of the worst cases. And getting them into therapy in the first place is hard as hell. Most don’t want to admit they have a problem. Just like an addiction.
The passive-aggressive manipulative sort have spent a lot of time hurting my attempts at a healthy life due to the fact that I’m a sucker and pretty easy to manipulate. I have too big of a heart most of the time, believe it or not. However, through therapy I’ve learned to spot them, detach myself from them (and seriously, a clean break is the only way to do it), and take control of my own life once I’ve pulled control of my emotions away from them.
And as a side note, to be perfectly honest, a mean little part of of me has been enjoying watching the ones I’ve cut off this year struggle once I’ve escaped from their polluted clutches. Karma can be a bitch, but I really like her a lot sometimes.
Come on, you didn’t think I was that nice, did you?
Current Mood: Cool & Happy