A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Unreliable- adj. not reliable; not to be relied or depended upon; irresponsible, undependable, untrustworthy

(source: dictionary.com)

I absolutely beyond sick of and frustrated with unreliability. One might say I am “seething” or even “irate” as a result of dealing with so much irresponsible bullshit and that I’m ready to march into the Seattle Stupid Headquarters and announce the Epidemic of Unreliability. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES AND TAKE COVER!

It’s a serious illness inflicting babysitters, friends, professionals and family alike. And it’s growing at a monumental speed.

I don’t get it. If there’s one reason my middle-class, Catholic family could ever be famous or acknowledged for, it would be their reliability and responsibility. If they commit to be there, or take care of something, THEY ALWAYS DO. And guess what? I’m the same damn way. Very rarely do I have to break a commitment, and when I do, it is never a means of selfish behavior. If I do back out, it’s because my kid is barfing and James isn’t home to take care of her, or because the babysitter just simply never showed up, the moron. (Though side note… it appears as though we did finally find a good babysitter, and that just rocks- it only took two freaking years.)

It doesn’t take much. All it takes is brushing off the selfish “I’d rather do this…” or not committing in the first place. This world is far to full of people who think of nothing but themselves and forget how their choice to flake out on someone may affect and stress the shit out of the other person.

I’ve decided to become part of this epidemic. YUP! Starting now, I’m going to go out of my way to be the flake that everyone is for me. When a babysitter shows up who frequently cancels, I’m going to go out and then tell them I don’t have any money to pay them when I get back before sending them on their merry way empty-handed! When a friend who likes to cancel on me last second regularly asks me to meet them for lunch, I’ll send ‘em a text 30 minutes after they’ve been waiting and apologize, but hey, I’m too tired to meet up today. And if someone books me for a job who maybe flaked out on me a time or two, I’ll return the favor last second leaving them scrambling the way they’ve left me before.

How does that sound?

And why the FUCK am I the only person I know with kids and STILL MANAGE to be the only consistently responsible, reliable one outside of my family?

Today, I fucking hate people and all their selfish bullshit. Pardon me while smoke billows out of my ears.

Current Mood: Alarmed & Angry

Dear Target Policeman dude:

That dorky helmet you’re wearing while you zoom through the parking lot on your Segway is rather ridiculous-looking. You are not at war in Vietnam, you are in a greater-Seattle-area business parking lot. However, I must admit that as stupid as Segways look, I resisted the urge to mow you over with my car and steal it from you. You just looked a little too proud standing upright with a strict, solemn face and your uniform. Smug, almost. Well, Mr. Police-Kid, I imagine I’d look mighty smug myself if I knocked you off there with my roundhouse kick and took that silly thing for a joy ride.

They are quite amazing when you read a bit about how they work. Plus, I believe I would look a bit more fashionable in that geek-helmet than you do.

Thanks in advance for not ticketing me when I beat your ass up and steal your new toy.

Sincerely, Surprisingly Sane

Current Mood: Cool

I was just reading this article on Yahoo about parenting advice from professionals: doctors, nurses, teachers. I frequently find those articles nothing more than entertainment fluff, but I kind of liked this one. Here, I’ll sum it up for you:

• Don’t freak out unless your kid *actually* chops his penis off- fevers happen, owies happen, and feelings get hurt… it is NOT AN EMERGENCY unless their arm is detached from their body. Fevers- even ones pushing 104 degrees are RARELY cause for real concern.
• Expect your child to be responsible.  He/she is not a princess.
• Don’t compare your kid to other children. Who the hell cares if she mixes up her Bs and Ps sometimes while she’s still a toddler?
• Do not stick your head up your kid’s ass and adhere to their every wish, command, and whine. Have a freaking backbone.
• Stop making them a separate meal and feeding them Fruit Loops for breakfast. Offer them healthy  breakfast food high in protein with a bit of fat, not sugar and tons of carbs… kids need it. And stick the same food on their plate as everyone else gets or they can choose to go without dinner. If food is available, they will not starve to death. There’s a reason we have an obscene obesity rate in America.
• Don’t overload your kids. They do not need to dance, play soccer, take piano lessons, and learn to ride a moped all at the same time.
• READ TO YOUR CHILDREN EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Before I got laid of in the lovely state of Arizona, I was a school teacher. Yes, true story. And my advice to parents?

• READ TO YOUR CHILDREN EVERY SINGLE DAY. That is my number one. I have statistics like crazy to back that one up, and have seen amazing proof behind doing so.
• Be consistent. Kids need structure, and they love you for enforcing it.
• Be a loving disciplinarian. Hold your ground. If you have a rule, don’t bend on it. Period.

And for the record, I am absolutely not a perfect parent, nor do I think I am void of the “Moron” title. But heck, at least I see when I make mistakes, own them, and try harder the next time… and honestly, I get a ton of compliments on my girls’ behavior, personalities, and colorful vocabulary (not what it sounds like, I don’t actually cuss around them!) so I must be doing something right!

Current Mood: Cool

I designed and drew up my first theme of Surprisingly Sane at the beginning of my insanity, right around the time April was born. We used to own a website design business- James’ idea. He was miserably bored at his software engineering position at a huge corporation (whose name which I won’t disclose) and needed something to fulfill his manic mind (yes, I do think he has a lesser form of bipolar… always have, even before I was diagnosed… and if you knew him really well, you’d see it, too…). I hated owning that business because while there were a few awesome clients, the rest were flakes with no concept of “Um, please STOP changing your mind and waiting six months to tell me.” Annoying. Additionally, I became weary of designing the page and waiting for months before James could sit his ass down to implement it. He was going through a busy, flaky, stressful time of his life, and his inability to stay on the ball and not procrastinate ended up with clients calling me demanding their damn site and their money back… understandable, but my hands were tied because I didn’t have the ability to play co-partner’s role. But more than that, I came out looking like the asshole who wasn’t doing her job, which I felt was painful to my integrity.

(Sorry, James, that has always bothered me to no end, and I was gonna say, “Last time I ever do business with you,” but we’ve been doing business together for 11 years in one way or another, and I must say, we rock at it now!)

Now, my old theme for Surprisingly Sane, as well as the name, appeared during that time. I was starting to lose my mind when I designed it, and a running joke between James and I was the idea of being “Surprisingly Sane.” I had another blog called “Life on the Less Beaten Path” that I had been blogging in for quite awhile, but it dawned on me that a blog named after our running joke might be perfect for me.

The flowers came from me just messing around with a new tool technique I learned in Illustrator. I pieced them together and ended up with those brightly colored- almost garish- vines of slightly chaotic flow, and I thought, “Ha ha… those kind of describe me in a lot of ways.” I LOVE bright colors (did you know my favorite color is turquoise?), contrary to what many might imagine, and my house is full of bright walls and decor. I played with using those designs on a web page, and it dawned on me that it felt very “me” and very comfortable and I liked the idea of starting a blog with that theme. Insert “A Surprisingly Sane Blog.”

When we moved to Seattle, we closed our LLC, and I haven’t designed a website since. And in the meantime, I switched from a PC to a Mac and never bought the Adobe Suites version for my new computer- too expensive. The last almost-3-years since I gave birth to April have been such a crazy mental disaster and adventure during which I’ve thought numerous times that I should 1) close my blog entirely, 2) redesign my page on a regular basis, 3) rip my hair out and laugh and scream and cry about the fact that I have admitted to the cyber-world just how messed up I am from time to time.

I’ve done neither of those. And instead, I’ve decided that keeping my blog going is not only in my own best interest, but helpful to the hundreds of new moms and mental health disorder survivors who have sent me emails and taken the time to write me comments. And the fact that my blog has recently been named one of the top 25 blogs on mental health has made me realize that it is, indeed, worth keeping around.

So I decided that instead of re-blocking comments or doing away with Surprisingly Sane altogether, I would just make a physical appearance change to keep things fresh and interesting for myself. My flowers theme served me well for three years, but I was just ready for a change.

Regarding this particular theme: I like it a lot- it’s so pretty with the turquoise, and I love the contrasting orange-ish yellow sidebar. It’s a little quieter than I’m used to, and I miss the bright colors. It doesn’t actually feel like “me” on the inside, but it’s hard to re-design one that does without the proper tools to do it. One of these days I’m going to bit the bullet and purchase the necessary software programs… but in the meantime, I’m going to get to know this theme and make it a part of how I view my blog personality.

Current Mood: Cool

For you people who freak out about change: Yes, I changed the appearance of my blog.

Don’t be hatin’. I promise it’s STILL ME behind the screen typing out all this crazy.

Current Mood: Cool