A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Assume: Ass-u-me. Assume= to makes an Ass out of U and Me.

Get it?

Good. It’s simple.

Sometimes, I wonder how certain people manage to make it through the day without being punched senseless because of their stupidity.

Here’s another one: There’s really no such thing as “being there in spirit” or “supporting you in spirit even though I’ll never be there or make it due to 156 different reasons!” Fact is, if you’re not there, you’re not there. Don’t tell me you’re at my birthday party “in spirit” while you’re watching the game on Sunday afternoon from your bedroom. Don’t tell me you’ll miss my Facebook posts about my Friday night dances now that I’ve stopped hosting it… you know, since in the last year and a half, YOU NEVER ONCE SHOWED UP. You were not “there in spirit” and you were not “supporting me” by never showing up. You’re a fucking moron. Just avoid saying something about it. You weren’t there. That’s cool. I didn’t actually notice until you told me you were there “in spirit.” Moron.

Fuck you. And anyone else who tries to tell me you “supported me in spirit” or spread assumptive lies.

You know what I got for Christmas? A GPS. I’m a terrible driver, really; I shouldn’t be allowed on the roads with my foot on an accelerator in this city. In Tucson, I was a great driver. Probably because the elements of windy roads and surprise on-ramps cease to exist. But anyway, after two years of begging for a GPS to help curb the tears of frustration while I’m heading south instead of north on the freeway and the pissed-off, frantic phone calls to James demanding that he helps me figure out where the hell I am in relation to the town square from his desk at work, he finally broke down and bought me a Garmin Nüvi.

My brother-in-law named her Svetlana. Svetlana’s kind of bitch when she says in her irritated tone, “Recalculating,” at every traffic light or so because I seem to lack the ability to follow directions, but thanks to her I’ve quickly found my way to a winery, my doctor’s appointment, Trader Joe’s, and just about everywhere else I go.

If I ever get a job, I have a feeling Svetlana will be an integral part of my daily traffic routine for at least a few weeks. And as a side note, it’s very nice to have someone to blame other than myself if I miss a turn, “Svetlana! You bitch! I thought you said LEFT!”

Current Mood: Cool

I’m thoroughly sick of winter. Not because of the weather because I actually like cool air and rain showers, but because I hate the short days with a passion. Sun dripping toward the horizon before 4:00pm and dark by 5:00? No thanks. I’ve always been a little afraid of the dark.

I’m trying to stay optimistic despite the shitty duration of daylight. It’s certainly trying, though, being exhausted and having dealt with the holidays and two sick children while decreasing medication and really trying to increase the positive things in my life. The only crappy thing about significantly decreasing the medication is the lack of sleep. Other than that, I feel great. The insomnia I have fought my entire life was replaced with the drugged Seroquel stupor that was impossible to wake from unless someone shot me in the head. It was nice, but after several months, I realized that the damn drug was causing a plethora of harmful side effects. I feel a million times better being off of it minus the sleep, which is once again replaced by the familiar racing of a thousand thoughts. I’m working on it, though. Neurofeedback is supposed to help. I start next week.

The fact that I am absolutely sick to death of job hunting isn’t helping my view of the lack of daytime. I’ve lived here for two years. Two. I have been filling out applications, making connections, having lunch with possible networking links and employers, and all I’ve heard thus far is, “Wow, impressive resume. I wish we were hiring. I’ll pass your name along.” Nothing. It sucks. Two years of this crap and honest to God, I’m ready to pack my bags and move back where I came from. And I hated living in Tucson, but dammit, at least I have job options there.

And the random side note of the day: I had to make an annual dreaded appointment for tomorrow. Fun fun. Especially since some stabbing crippling pain in my lower extremities has me fearing either the worst or an ovarian cyst, and I have a small lump in my breast that I’m a bit concerned about. Sucks that my grandmother died from breast cancer at 36 and my sister was a cancer survivor at the age of 16. The odds scare me a bit.

What’s new in your life? Is the daylight longer than our measly few hours? Entertain me. I’m bored.

Current Mood: Bored