A Surprisingly Sane Blog

Refreshing Facebook over and over and over and over and over again is not going to fake your day into being productive.

Get off your ass and clean something.

Current Mood: Alarmed

Between taking care of two sick kids, entertaining your father-in-law, and filling out one heck of a difficult job application this week, you deserve a vacation.

Thank goodness I’m flying to Hawaii for my sister’s wedding TOMORROW!

Pictures to follow, I’m sure. I‘m so freaking excited!

Current Mood: Esctatic

Will Ferrell is trying to kill you. Do not tell him your ass is burning unless you want to do more of that freaking thing involving a yoga ball, cylinder pipe full of water, and a very compromising position in front of all the onlooking men on the treadmills upstairs.

Current Mood: Alarmed

Holy Shizzle…

Gracing a tattoo upon your hip/lower abdomen FUCKING HURTS.

I’m no virgin to piercings and tattoos. Or natural childbirth. Or gym workouts with a personal trainer that resembles Will Ferrell. Pain is no stranger to my life.

But dayum… I almost hit the roof last night, as did my sister, who knows EXACTLY how much that FUCKING HURT.

Current Mood: Alarmed & Cool

Bribing your kid with chocolate will not make her sweet.

Current Mood: Alarmed