Tell me: How alone in this world of mental strife am I?

Current Mood: Playful

I have a lovely bedroom. It’s a work in progress, and one of these days I’ll get around to posting pics of each wall AND all the decorating and room-finishing I’ve done in our “new” house that we’ve only been in for a year and a half. Because honestly, I am pretty darn proud of my bedroom, and I love how every room in our house has its own personality. Bipolar decorating, anyone? But for now, I’m gonna post a few photos so I can make a little point.

For our bedroom, I decided on a worldly/India sort of theme, using colors and textiles from a mix of Indian picks and other what I consider to be exotic and fascinating countries.

Yes, that’s one of those awesome (cheap) IKEA shelves. And that kick-ass giraffe? Ross… Dress for Less. Yup, I’m a bargain shopper. I’d be embarrassed about that fact except that I have quite the shoe rack that I’m not going to show you. *huge grin* Yes, I’m a shoe whore.

Please notice my embarrassing books. You’ll get a nice little peek into my not-so-private life that way. And if you haven’t read Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, RUN to the nearest Amazon Headquarters (here in Seattle), and beg, borrow, or steal a copy. But the important thing here isn’t the book lineup… it’s my favorite childhood knick-knacks. That elephant piggy-bank was a gift from my dad from his first business trip to Japan when I was six. I’ve always loved that thing. And that gorgeous Chinese jewelry box was another gift from my dad on a more recent business trip to China. My uncle made me the pink stained glass jewelry box on the other side. and then there’s my pup and kitty. That set has always been one of my favorites, even since I was a teeny peep I remember looking at them.

And this is the awesomeness I found at Pier 1 Imports… a hand-sewn cloth screen made in India. This this brightens up our room and just seems to tie all of my crazy colors together beautifully.

I also have stuff like this adorning our walls:

And tacky tidbits such as this brightening up our room:

So, now that you’ve seen a few pieces of my room, someone, ANYONE, explain to me why our bed ALWAYS looks like THIS!

I hid the whips, chains and handcuffs, so it’s okay to take a peek.

You wanna know why our lovely latex mattress with a killer pillow top and the softest sheets IN THE WORLD is always in heinous form? (Get your head out of the gutter, you dirty perv). It’s because I’M LAZY. I wish, wish, wish that I had the drive to make my freaking bed in the morning because it really looks SO BEAUTIFUL in that room when there aren’t remnants from last night’s tug-of-war hanging out on the bed, but I just don’t have it in me. I even have a lovely set of throw pillows to top the bed.

They’ve been sitting there behind the door collecting dust for about a year now. Tragic, I know. Almost as tragic as the fact that I have had two cans of paint just sitting in the garage for over a year that SHOULD be on the wall.

There, world. Another one of my pathetic secrets. My answer to the poll? The last option. I can count on ONE HAND the number of times my bed is made in a year, and it’s pretty much always because I have guests. And usually, my guests just get the shooed away from my room so they don’t have to see it. Though I will admit, once we get our room cleaned up, it actually does stay pretty darn clean (minus the bed, of course). At least we’re kind of good at that, right?

Your turn: how good about making your bed are you? Or even keeping your room clean? Please tell me I’m not the only slob.

Current Mood: Cool

How about you? Have you or are you currently struggling with a form of disordered eating? You can chose up to two answers, and as always, answers are completely anonymous.

I am most certainly not anorexic, and I have never once caused myself to barf, even when I was sick and nauseated. However, I’m going to put myself out for a slap on the wrist here and admit there have been times in my life where although I didn’t STOP eating, I certainly ate as little as I could in order to lose a few pounds OR I did it because I was under so much stress that I literally felt like I had zero appetite or I couldn’t swallow my food sometimes.

I dated a guy in high school who almost NEVER ate. I was with him all summer long, so I didn’t eat, either. I don’t know how much weight I lost, but it must have been fairly significant because my best friend came back from a summer camp, saw me, and screamed, “HOLY SHIT! Have you eaten all summer? You look GROSS!”. I was skinny in high school, anyway, so any weight loss would have been a bad thing. It took that for me to look down at my ribs and hip bones and realize that I’d gone too far, and the breakup with that boyfriend hadn’t helped me add any pounds.

Now as a healthy, curvy, thin-enough size-6, I do still struggle sometimes. Sometimes I have to force myself to eat something because I start panicking that OMYGODI”MGONNAGETFATIFIEATTHAT. Being a professional dancer doesn’t always help that mentality. Luckily, I have a husband who’s understanding and sometimes puts a plate of food in front of me when he notices I skipped a meal. If it’s there, I remind myself I need to eat it. No one’s going to take care of this body but me, and if I treat it well, it’ll hopefully treat me well.

Current Mood: Cool

**Warning: Healthy debate is allowed, but I will delete any comments that insult another person for what they believe.

Current Mood: Playful

Current Mood: Playful

First, the poll:

And now the other questions: What does it take for you to orgasm? A number of women said last week that they can’t or usually don’t orgasm during the act of sex itself… can you? If so, does it only work in certain positions? Do you need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, or can you hit the big O even without it?

Okay… so now for my answers. You ready for ‘em? *blushing*

Orgasming for me has never been difficult until I had to start taking antidepressants. And actually, it wasn’t until I was at the highest dose that I needed to take that I really noticed them affecting me in that way. Since then my dosage has been decreased by a whopping 5 mg, which isn’t a lot but still very much affects me in the bedroom in a good way, thank goodness. I can orgasm during sex, oral, masturbation, whatever, without too much of a hitch. HOWEVER, there’s a major caveat to this: I can rarely orgasm unless I’ve had nipple stimulation as well.

Yes, weird, I know. For some people it’s the clit, but my hot buttons are my nipples. For real. I have orgasmed off of nipple stimulation alone. Add just a little of that to sex, and I melt in a matter of seconds.

Without the nipple stimulation, I can sometimes orgasm, but I either need to be: A) just really freaking horny at the time; or B) I need to have a lot a lot of imagination happening to get me there in addition to direct clitoral stimulation. What kind of imagination, you ask? Seriously, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about that. I’ve got some fucked up abuse in my history, and I’m rather ashamed about some of the things that I find a turn-on. Don’t worry, I’m sure one of these days I’ll go there… but I need to talk to a sex therapist first.

As for sex positions, although I’m a big fan of doggie-style, I can only orgasm that way if I’ve got the help of a vibrator. The best positions for me to hit the O are either being on top or having my hubby on top. Again, that direct clitoral stimulation is a must.

Okay, I just completely opened up about one of the most taboo topics I can think of… now it’s your turn! Don’t be shy! And if you’re a guy, by all means… you’re welcome to chime in as well.

Current Mood: Playful

Answers are, as always, anonymous.

Current Mood: Playful

Results are always anonymous unless you decide to share.

Current Mood: Playful

Feel free to choose up to three different positions. Results are anonymous, as always.

Current Mood: Playful

For the sake of simplicity, we’ll count sexual partners as people we have actually had intercourse with, or the equivalent with a same-sex partner.

Votes are anonymous, and you’re not gonna get any judgement from me if you happen to tell me how many people you’ve been with.

Current Mood: Mischievous