A Surprisingly Sane Blog

I have plenty of beef with my religious roots. Not gonna go there. You’ve heard it all before.

But one of the many things that I truly believe to the core that Catholicism does right? Their respect for life, from the womb to the tomb. Catholicism sees no joy in taking a life, regardless of who that person may be. The belief being that God created all, loves all, and continues to love us in spite of our flaws and crimes. Period.

I know that I should be happy that Osama Bin Laden was killed. According to most of my friends and probably the vast majority of Americans, that is. Does the fact that when I heard the news that I felt more shock and horror than I did happiness make me anti-American or  bad person?

I understand exactly why he “needed” to be killed. His massive murder crimes are unforgivable, heinous, and the act of what I believe to be considered pure evil. I understand the reason millions feel that killing Bin Laden was the only choice. Allowing him to live would potentially have meant even more innocent lives brutally ended. By humanity’s standards, taking one man’s life was minuscule in comparison to the impact his actions have had on our beautiful country and people all around the world.

However, I cannot deny that fundamentally, I believe that killing is wrong. I do not feel that the military or the CIA or the President was wrong in making this choice because I know it was to protect others. However, I cannot rejoice in the death of another human being, regardless of how evil that person may be. Would I feel different if that was my family killed in the terrorist attacks? Perhaps, but I would also not be the same person that I am today.

This does not mean I do not believe that Bin Laden should be dead. I do think the world probably is a better place this morning because his threat (which will inevitably be succeeded by some other terrorist mastermind, sadly, I’m sure) is no longer looming over the world’s head. However, I cannot change the fact that I feel saddened by the fact that so many people are jumping for joy at the murder of another human being. Like an official Catholic church statement said, I feel and believe deep down the following:

“In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.”

Current Mood: Sad

Who goes to heaven: the religious nut who “follows” God’s teachings, reads the Bible, frequents church, praises the Lord at every turn, yet looks around at all the others and shakes his/her head knowing that they’re all going to hell for not following Christ’s plan according to what their religion has taught them? Or is it the the person who doesn’t necessarily believe in God, but treats people and creatures with love and respect, has an open mind, and lives life with the mindset that doing good is best for not just themselves, but for all people?

I have a (very intelligent) friend who was upset because a family member had just died. You know what she said? “What bothers me most is the fact that she went to hell”. Um, really? I asked her why, and she said, matter of factly, that it was because she wasn’t a follower of Christ, and all who don’t follow Jesus go to hell.

Hm. So that means the babies dying in Africa who have never even heard of Christ are going to hell. And the peaceful, gentle Buddhist monks of Tibet who wouldn’t even harm an earthworm are going to hell. And my good friends who are unsure if there is a God, but they’re truly the nicest, most kind-hearted people I’ve ever met? Yup, they’re damned to an eternity of fire and blazes, too, poor fucks.

Funny enough, those major fundamentalist religious sort are often the nastiest, most righteous folk I’ve ever met. They condemn abortion but praise baby Jesus for appointing a president many years ago who was down with sending troops that shoot and kill other men with families and friends? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? That is NOT what Jesus taught, you ignorant, self-rightious pigs. Murder isn’t okay in one instance but not the other. Hypocrisy makes me sick.

But what makes me ill more than the hypocrisy are religions and individuals who preach that everyone not doing XYZ and cleaning between their toes with a toothbrush is going to hell if they don’t believe exactly what they believe. One of the things I love most about the Catholic church (and NO, I am no hardcore Catholic, nor have I been to church in a year, and I’m not trying to convert a damn soul) is that eight years of Catholic school taught me that it is NEVER a human’s place to judge another’s fate. God is the one and only true judge. And therefore, everyone who condemns another human being, even if they try to base it off of religious fact, is downright WRONG. Amen. There, something I truly believe the Catholic church got right.

My favorite part of God’s Word according to the Bible (according to some interpretations, not necessarily all) is that supposedly, a person can live a truly retched life, but if as they’re dying they have some kind of epiphany, repent, and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, then they are forgiven for their sins. Therefore, that means you can be a complete asshole your whole life and still make it into heaven.

Religion tends to breed ignorance, and that pisses me off. How many of those disgusting church leaders who molest children, cheat on their wives, and curse on a regular basis preach against all of that crap to a congregation who believes them? Sickening. People really need to open their eyes about who actually goes to heaven, if such a thing exists. And believe it or not, I actually do.

If you think you’re the chosen one and that’s it, think again. There’s more than one route to the pearly gates.

And by the way, to answer my original question, my thought is this: both. Because if God truly loves all, He’s gonna be one hell of a forgiving, amazing guy and open the doors to all of us. Even the big-time sinners. Since, you know, his own son hung out with the prostitutes and tax collectors.

Current Mood: Cool

With the risk of sounding truly ignorant, I’m going to step out in front of the speeding religion bus.

I love Seattle. I am positively in love with the cultural and religious diversity that makes this city one of the most liberal and progressive places I’ve ever seen. Some days it makes me think I live in a European city where everyone speaks English and obsesses over coffee. It’s absolutely lovely for people like James and I, who very much respect and find beauty in people of all kinds, colors, and sexual preferences.

But- and there’s a BUT- I have mixed feelings on some of the Muslim culture I see here. Don’t get me wrong- I really have no problem with people following a particular religion. However, I’m baffled when I see Muslim women dressed in a floor-length skirt, long sleeves, multiple layers, and a hijab running on the treadmill and using the weight machines AT THE GYM.

It just seems… bizarre.

Now, my bother is finishing his degree in Near Eastern Studies and speaks Persian and Arabic. He is surrounded by the Muslim culture every day at the university, and he has asked me to edit a number of his papers. What I read was fascinating, but the one that stood out most to me was one that he wrote defending a Muslim woman’s right to wear a hijab and the recommended/required (?) dress that I described above. Now, that’s not to say that my brother necessarily believes that, but it’s what the assignment was asking for.

From what I was able to understand, despite the rest of the world scoffing at their apparel and comparing it to a disrespect for women, forcing them to wear inhumane clothing (which, I’m going to make a loaded and possibly prejudice statement when I say I really think there is something seriously wrong with forcing ANYONE to wear a burka… my apologies for offending anyone, but I just can’t help how I feel), and assuming that it was a bunch of men taking a woman’s right to dress comfortably, there was definitely a completely different side to the story.

In fact, what the different required readings suggested was that many women like the dress code. One woman wrote that the modest dress made it much more difficult for a person to judge them based on body and beauty. Instead, the onlooker would get to know them by their personality and conversation. She was also comfortable with the modesty because they grew up with it, and couldn’t imagine having any desire to dress otherwise. She felt empowered by the clothing requirements.

Certainly food for thought, but part of me has to look beyond my ridiculously liberal approach to accepting all cultures and ask if this is really a “healthy and natural” way of thinking, or is this merely a direct result of pure ignorance and brainwashing by an uneducated and behind-the-times society.

My heart and mind both tell me it’s the latter, and I feel bad admitting that I might actually be shallow-minded for thinking that.

But then again, maybe I’m not.

Maybe the idea of wearing full garb on the treadmill is, in fact, rather ridiculous. Maybe there’s a better way to maintain modesty while still fulfilling the needs of practicality.

Seriously- I’m cool with someone choosing to cover their head. Sometimes, I wear a bandana to hold back my hair- is that really all that different than covering my head with a long scarf? Not really, when you thinking about it, even if the purpose is entirely differing. But it’s the idea of wearing multiple layers and long skirts and wraps that make it so they can barely move their arms while also wearing something that covers everything on their head except their forehead to their chin WHILE THEY WORK OUT?  That seems even more outrageous than that obscene run-on I just graced ya’ll with.

Besides, what the hell does working out at the gym matter at that point? If your body and face should not be things you are judged by, doesn’t fighting the stairmaster seem a little ridiculous when the purpose of that damn thing is, in fact, to enhance the aesthetic look and feel of your body?

It seems odd to me. Almost like a double standard. Maybe it’s totally not. Maybe there’s a whole clause in the Koran that recommends working out like a fiend… but I kind of doubt it.

Phew. Glad to get that off my chest. It’s been bothering me for weeks.

Yes, weeks. I have special-people-issues, remember? I’m going to use that as my excuse for obsessing over something so weird.

Current Mood: Alarmed

What faith do you practice? What do you love about it? What do you dislike about it?

We haven’t been to church since we moved to Seattle. This is weird, and I feel like something’s missing from my life (oh wait… that thing might be SANITY… hm…). I’m trying to decide if it’s Catholicism that I should continue to practice, or if I should be looking in a different direction. I’ve had so much anger for the church since I married that it sounds retarded that I would even consider it. However, my exposure to other religions is limited, and I don’t know what other churches offer that is different from what I learned.

I know I did a religion poll a thousand years ago, but I’m more interested in discussion. I don’t think I have to warn everyone to be nice, but every once in awhile a lurker comes out to play and decides to be rude, so I’m gonna do it anyway: BE NICE, and remember that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and most people don’t like everyone else’s.

Current Mood: Playful

Several years ago… wait, no, scratch that.  Many, many years ago, long before I even knew how sex actually worked- you know, back when Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable surrounded by goats and stuff, I started taking The Pill.

It was a final desperate attempt to conquer the horrible cases of The Period and The Cramps and The Acne that were killing me not-so-softly after I survived The Surgery during my junior year of high school. I tried everything before resorting to that sinful thing known as Birth Control, but alas, the prescription painkillers, vegetarian diet, long-distance running, and regular visits to the dermatologist could do little to curb the obscene case of *dum-dum duuuuum* The Adolescence From Hell I was doomed to experience.

When my period decided to show up every two and a half weeks and I bled heavily for a week solid for a few months straight, I decided to take my chances of going to hell, took my doctor’s advice, and popped a pill of hormones into my mouth every morning while I prayed to God for forgiveness. I even managed to remain as pure and virginous (shut the hell up, spellchecker, I don’t care if that’s not a word!) as a high-school student could possibly be. With the exception of, you know, the occasional *gasp* bout of masturbation.  YES, WORLD… I have touched myself to get that special feeling between my thighs more than once, and I KNOW I’M GOING TO HELL FOR IT… but oh fucking well. EVERYONE DOES IT. I’m just one of the few who aren’t afraid to announce it. And to admit that I recently bought an adorable green caterpillar-shaped vibrator that I have even used yet. I know, shame on me.

Eh hem, anyway.

So I took The Pill and it solved all my problems. Acne? Gone. Period? Normal. Cramps? Deceased. All those things I’d thrown up my hands in utter desperation for God to please have mercy on me and make them stop… all of it was just wiped clean from my body. Those damn oral contraceptives did the trick just like my doctors said they would. Imagine that.

I took them for several years because I also later discovered that they allowed James and I to fuck like rabbits without producing offspring (shocking, I know).  But then, Catholic guilt (and other things I don’t want to get into right now) got to me. I stopped taking them several months before I got married during my time of abstinence so that I could repent my evil ways and begin the preparation necessary to use The Creighton Model of Natural Family Planning, one of the “fertility awareness and appreciation” methods that the Church actually condones.

Five years of marriage, two kids, a mental breakdown (or three hundred fifty-two of ‘em), and a holy-shit-I-lost-count-at-week-five amount of happy pills later, I have finally, finally made a Really. Stupid. Realization: I was on birth control for five years, and not a single one of those years did I even have so much as an engagement ring on my finger. And all this time, I have been at war, caught between my my pure terror of getting pregnant again while fighting my retarded, malfunctioning biological baby-makin’ clock that says “wouldn’t it be so great to pop another gigantic, quarter-Chinese baby from your loins?“, and my true hate for those freaking things known as condoms.  Somewhere in the midst of this battle, it dawned on me that there is a very simple answer that would solve all these problems: The Pill. Gah! I felt like smacking myself upside the head when I consciously thought of this. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN THINKING?

Oh wait, I can answer that. I WASN’T THINKING.

So on a whim, I decided that since my husband has yet to get his balls snipped and I really don’t want to have to go through with surgery again (Ack! Needles! IN MY VEIN!), I was gonna take matters into my own hands and go back on The Pill.

While I never liked pumping hormones into my body all that much, I can’t deny that the benefits were great. The super cool Seattle midwife/naturopathic doctor I met with last week wrote me out a prescription for the old pill I used to take, and I start it tomorrow. And in the meantime, I asked her if she could find out if using a non-hormone IUD would be compatible with my prolapse as a healthy alternative. I have an appointment set with her next month for a regular health/mental health check-up and she’ll let me know if she thinks the IUD would be worth a try for someone in my situation.

I’ll keep you posted. And as a side note, if I get pregnant now that I’ll be able to toss the condoms aside, I’m gonna lose my mind permanently.

Current Mood: Cool